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**I am NOT the Original Poster. That is** [u/CicadaPotential6437](https://www.reddit.com/user/CicadaPotential6437/). She posted in r/AITAH. Thanks to u/Direct-Caterpillar77 for the recommendation This is a long post. **Trigger Warning:** >!stalking; threatening behavior!< **Mood Spoiler:** >!a genuine wtf and twist; it's like a horror movie!< **Original** [Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/180pvwv/aitah_for_wearing_a_white_dress_to_a_wedding/)**: November 21, 2023** Omg my head is such a jumble right now. Let me try to make sense of all of this. When I \[26,F\] was five we moved, and our next door neighbors had a girl my age named Bella \[27,F\]. We immediately connected and grew up thick as thieves. Our families were also close. I moved a couple of hours away for college while Bella stayed home. She would come visit me frequently, stay with me, and we had great times. I met Barrett \[26,M now\] in an econ class sophomore year and realized we had a lot of friends in common. He was a smart, attractive guy so we ended up hooking up a few times after study sessions. It was fun, but there wasn't really long-term chemistry so we remained friends. We never even talked about dating. We weren't close after that, but we were on group text threads together and saw each other frequently at parties. I introduced Bella to Barrett at a party senior year and it was love at first sight for her. She interrogated me about him and I informed her of our history. She seemed pretty upset about the fact that we had hooked up, but I assured her that there was absolutely nothing romantic there and that she had my blessing to pursue him. She did, and after a few months, they started officially dating. She was over the moon. I was happy she was happy. I graduated and accepted a job six hours away from home. Shortly afterwards, Bella and Barrett ended up moving in together in my hometown. I visited them frequently at first, but life got busy so we ended up seeing each other annually at holidays. Last Christmas, my family hosted a Christmas Eve party with our two families at which Barrett proposed to Bella. It was a heartfelt proposal and everybody was thrilled for them. Bella wanted to talk about nothing but wedding planning that holiday and we had tons of fun brainstorming ideas together. There were no signs of what was to come. Over the next few months, I expected to be formally asked to be Bella's Maid of Honor (she had mentioned this over the holidays), but the ask never came. She started screening my calls. Finally, I received a 'Save the Date' in the mail and still hadn't heard from her about whether I was in the wedding so I got her on the phone and asked her. She told me that she had thought it through and didn't think that I should be in the wedding at all because I lived so far away. She thought it would make coordinating bridal events too difficult. She was making her cousin (who she doesn't even like) her maid of honor. I was pretty hurt by this. I was her closest and oldest friend. I introduced her to her fiance and was friends with him too. I told her that I could get the time off work, would buy plane tickets, whatever was required of me, to participate. That I didn't think that it was going to be as challenging as she thought. She shrugged this off. Instead she directed the conversation to whether I was going to be bringing someone to the wedding. I was a little confused by this question because I just had a bad break-up and she knew all about what went down. I told her that since I wasn't seeing anybody currently, I'd probably be attending solo. She told me that she would keep my +1 open until the last possible minute and encouraged me to try to find a date so I wouldn't be lonely. I thought this was a nice gesture, but reassured her that with my family present and tons of mutual friends from college and our hometown that I would be fine. The next few months passed without much incident. I didn't hear a ton from Bella. I probably could have reached out more, but I was still stinging a bit from not being asked to be in her wedding party. I also saw on social media that she had an engagement party that she had not told me about or invited me to. That also hurt but I didn't say anything. I figured we were just growing apart. It happens. Then six weeks prior to the wedding, I got a call from Bella. She told me that one of her bridesmaids had dropped out and that she was hoping that I could fill in. I wouldn't be going to any of the events as those were already booked, but I would be in the wedding party. I was thrilled and relieved and accepted immediately. She told me that she was doing a reverse color pallette for the bridal party where all of the bridesmaids and groomsmen were wearing white, and she and the groom were wearing black. This didn't seem that strange - Bella has always liked to stand out and has unconventional taste. She apologized for the late notice and asked if I could find a white dress in time. I had a white slip dress already that would work and sent her a picture of it on the call to see if it would work. She verbally approved it and tagged it with a thumbs up on the text chain. (this will be important later). The wedding was at noon, so we were supposed to meet to do hair and makeup at the venue at 8am. I left my parent's home early and arrived in sweats with my dress in a bag and greeted Bella and the other girls. We had fun drinking champagne and getting ready. About two hours prior to the ceremony, Bella told everybody to get our dresses on so we could do some pictures. I grabbed my bag and went into the bathroom to change and tweak my makeup. When I re-entered the room, every last bridesmaid was in a blue dress. I was the only one in white. My stomach dropped. My mind raced back to the conversation I had with Bella. She had said 'white', right? I hadn't misheard? No, I was certain. She had called out the reverse color scheme. I had googled it. No, this was a set-up. Bella was in the middle of the room in a bathrobe with a resigned look on her face. She said to her cousin, "I told you she was going to do something like this". Her cousin approached me and asked what I was wearing. I mumbled that Bella had told me to wear white. Bella didn't even blink. She stared back and huffed out a laugh and said something about how of course I would have to make today all about me. The cousin started screaming at me, going off on me about how I was jealous, in love with Barrett, and how completely unhinged I was. Honestly, I froze in that moment. I was so spun around by how fast everything went from great to shit, I couldn't even find the words to defend myself. Eventually I stammered out that I had another dress at my parent's house and could go home and change. Bella said something like "I think we both know that this is the end of our friendship. I've given you too many chances. It's time for you to go." I started to cry. I didn't really know what was happening or what she was talking about, but I knew that whatever was going down was really bad. Finally my legs started to work again and I fled. I left all of my things at the venue and just ran to my car and went home, sobbing in the white dress. About a half hour later, my phone blew up. Texts from nearly everyone in my life, telling me that I was bitter, that I was a whore, that I needed to grow up and get over my jealousy, asking how I could do that to Bella. Even my mother sent me a text telling me how disappointed she was in me and that we'd talk when they got home. I did what any rational person would do in the situation. I broke into my parent's liquor cabinet and got drunk. As a result, the conversation when my parents finally arrived home was somewhat confused. My dad wouldn't even look at me and my mom and I kept talking past each other. She outright didn't believe that I had been told to wear white and I didn't understand why. Then finally she said something like "Because of everything else that happened," and I was like "What are you talking about? What does that mean?" And she said "You know, your ultimatums to Bella." The next few hours revealed the truth: over the last several months, Bella has been building a fiction with nearly everyone in my life that I am mentally unstable and madly in love with Barrett. She has concocted a web of outlandish tales and systematically poisoned my family and friends against me. My boyfriend apparently dumped me because of my feelings for Barrett (Lie. He cheated and I dumped him). I told Bella that she needs to choose between me and Barrett (never happened). I told Bella that I couldn't be in the wedding party because I couldn't support her marriage given that Barrett was meant for me (lie). I had a major meltdown before the engagement party and that's why I wasn't there...on and on, lies on top of lies. In all of these stories, Bella has painted herself as the patient, long-suffering friend trying to deal with a friend clearly going through a tough time. She expressed understanding for my unrequited love for Barrett and empathized with how hard it must be for me to see her marry the love of my life. And has made great efforts to try to sustain our friendship despite how "complicated" the situation is. The lie has been going on so long, my mom literally did not believe me. Finally I grabbed my phone and handed it to her and told her to go through my text messages with Bella. Asked her to show me any evidence of any of that happening. It was when she was scrolling through reading our messages that she saw the picture of the white dress I had sent Bella with her thumbs up on it. I had completely forgotten about it. The absence of any ultimatums or Barrett drama in our texts and the picture of the approved dress flipped my mom. She finally believed me. She was horrified that she had bought into a false narrative. She called my dad into the room and explained what was what. My dad isn't the type of person you want to piss off. We had to spend significant energy trying to calm him down so he didn't walk next door and rip the house from the foundation. My mom still says that I'm a bit of an asshole because I should never have assumed that I could wear white to someone's wedding. I should have confirmed with the other bridesmaids about what they were wearing, and that was part of my job as a member of the bridal party. Fine, I own that. But it doesn't change the fact that I never meant to hurt Bella, and she has been setting me up for this epic fall for MONTHS. The next day, hungover on multiple levels, I sent screencaps of my call history with Bella and the photo of the approved dress text to multiple people. Unfortunately this is where my occupation works against me. I am a graphic designer, and people believe that I photoshopped the image. Trust me, if I was going to photoshop some proof it would have been a hell of a lot more compelling than somebody liking an image. So pretty much nobody believes me except my mom, dad and ONE of the other bridesmaids (one of Bella's friends from college I don't know well). She was there during the dress incident and she found me on social media and DM'd me that she could tell from the stunned look on my face that I was telling the truth. She said that Bella had a pretty bad case of covid at the beginning of the year, and ever since then had changed as a person, becoming cruel and self-absorbed. She said the wedding events had been horrific and Bella was a monster and she was planning on going no contact now that it was done. So that's three people out of hundreds that don't think I'm an asshole. Everybody else does. My reputation destroyed. My life in tatters. I don't think I'm the AH, but I submit myself to reddit's judgment. ***Relevant Comments:*** *OOP answers some questions:* >did Barrett maybe say something about him having feelings for you that you did not reciprocate? This is possible, I guess, but I'm not aware of any incidents. I think perhaps this has more to do with Bella's cousin putting poison in her ear about me than Barrett actually having feelings for me. But that's just a gut instinct. I don't actually know. >And where was Barrett in all this? You said he was your friend, so it seems odd that he would watch his bride attempt to ruin your life for the fun of it. The first time I saw him after last Christmas was at the rehearsal the night before the wedding. I gave him a hug and congratulated him and expressed how excited he must be and we talked about my drive up and how some of our mutual friends flights had been cancelled. It was entirely benign. Bella was talking to somebody else and I greeted her a bit later. I never saw him the day of the wedding because I didn't make it that far. I have no idea what he makes of all of this but I have to imagine that he's been poisoned to believe I'm some deranged stalker as well. I haven't reached out to him because I'm worried doing so would add fuel to Bella's narrative. *If your parents were at the engagement party, why didn't you tell them you weren't invited?* "My parents were not at the engagement party. My understanding was that it was more of a friends engagement party than a familial one. But they did know that it happened, and I do think they expected me to come home for it. There was a lot of miscommunication between my mom and I. My parents are pretty low EQ and uncomfortable with emotions and drama, so they didn't pry too deeply. My mom would ask me questions like "So Bella told me a little bit about what is going on...are you ok?" And I would assume she was talking about my cheating ex where my mom was actually talking about my "unrequited love" for Barrett. And I would respond with something like "I'm struggling a little but I'm getting through it. I'll be ok, thanks mom." And like that we kept talking past each other. Looking back there were a few things my mom said that confused me, but I didn't seek clarity at the time." *In response to some more questions on that thread:* >So if they expected you to come home for it why did they never ask you about your plans to attend and when would you be home? I wish I could answer your question but I genuinely do not know the timelines from my end. I don't know what my parents knew when, when the party invites went out, when my parents were told by Bella that I couldn't handle going -- all of this happened without me knowing about it. So I just don't know. Trust me, the fact that my parents thought all of this stuff was going on with me and didn't properly talk to me about it has been difficult to swallow. >Also how is it that as you’re getting ready at the venue you never see her wedding dress or talk about the flipped colors for the wedding until it’s time for the bridesmaids to get dressed? I was boxed out of all of the other wedding events except for the rehearsal which lasted about 30 minutes. I was never really put on group texts about the wedding, which I thought was owed to my last minute involvement. Dresses were in garment bags and put on a rack. At one point her bridal gown was removed from the room to be steamed. I don't think it was back yet when this all went down, which was why she was still in a robe. My understanding was that she wanted photos of us helping her get dressed, which was why we were getting dressed first. Now I suspect the timing was intentional. I was the only person who thought there was a flipped color palette so I don't know why that would have come up in conversation? We talked about a lot of stuff but wedding colors didn't come up. >It seems like both you and your parents are poor communicators and Bella relied on you not reaching out to her, or her parents, the other bridesmaids, or your parents to ask about wedding plans Yeah...my relationship with my parents is...well I think I'd need a whole additional AITAH post for that. It's complicated. ***There is no judgement bot, but most comments were NTA or just confused and asking for info*** **Update** [Post](https://www.reddit.com/user/CicadaPotential6437/comments/198hp5j/update_to_aitah_for_wearing_a_white_dress_to_a/)**: January 16, 2024 (Almost 2 months later)** I've gone back and forth about updating [my post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/180pvwv/aitah_for_wearing_a_white_dress_to_a_wedding/). If you read my update, hopefully you'll understand why. For safety reasons, this will likely be my one and only update. For those of you bitching about length, I included a tl;dr at the end. Before I get started, I want to address a question a lot of commenters had about my parents. A lot of people were questioning why my mom would hear all of that stuff about me and not check in on me or confront me. It's because I'm an apostate. Last year I left the religion my parents raised me in (which Bella is still involved in so she has superior credibility). My politics differ also. From where mom and dad sat, I was a sinner capable of any act of evil because I turned my back on Biblical principles. Assume that the broader religious community in this town believes the same of me. Despite this, I tried to have a relationship with my parents. I am an only child. They are my only family. But there was strain and distance there. For example, I did not tell my parents a lot about my breakup because the circumstances of that would reinforce some of my parents' worst beliefs about me. It's also the reason I haven't been home in the last year. It's also one of the reasons I assumed things were strained between Bella and I in the last year. I didn't bring it up because as EVERYBODY wanted to point out, my post was already too damn long (And this one will be too. Sorry.). I would have guessed that the events of the wedding would strain my relationship with my parents further but unexpectedly it has brought us closer. I think many of my parents' strong opinions of me were more about how they felt my leaving the church would ultimately reflect on them in the community. But now that the community has rallied against me and the worst has happened, they've circled the herd. They've waged holy war in their church on my behalf in the last couple of months. It's weirdly cemented that my parents actually do care about me, despite our differences as people. So in that regard, this awful event has been a blessing. A lot of the awkwardness between us from the last year has faded and it really feels like they've chosen a side and that side is me. We had a great holiday together. So in that way, I'm glad this happened. On to the update. In the immediate aftermath of the wedding and post, I did as people suggested and sent out a screen recording of my text messages with Bella (all of them going back months, to counter her narrative that I was unstable) and explaining my side of the story. There were three camps that emerged as a result. First were my high school friends. Most of them are religious and had been extensively brainwashed by Bella. None took my side, except for the one bridesmaid who had already contacted me. Next were the college friends closer to me. None of them had heard Bella's whisper campaign and accepted the evidence immediately. Several of them told me that they had never really liked Bella and that she had shit talked me behind my back. This was news to me, but also a relief because these are the relationships I most don't want to lose. And it looks like I won't. The college friends who were closer to Barrett just didn't really care. A lot of these guys are classic dudebros that are drama-adverse, so I'm not shocked they aren't relishing the chance to wade through and litigate the evidence. No hostility coming from these people anymore, but no support either. I can live with that. Bella's nuclear and extended family I have given up on. When I was back for Christmas I tried to go over to speak to Bella's parents (who were like parents to me also), and they refused to even open the door. I left a letter in their mailbox. It went unacknowledged. In general, things settled down into a new normal and I just focused on my life and my work and trying to move forward. I went home for the holidays and just hung out with my parents. Life was ok. THEN. January 1st, I signed into an older email account that I haven't used in a while to reset a password. In the spirit of new year digital housekeeping, I started going through old messages, intending to close this account for good, when I saw an e-mail from my ex with the subject line "I WIN". I cannot describe the gut punch that I felt when I saw that mail. I freeze up now just writing about it. My ex -- let's call him Matthew -- was the perfect boyfriend. Until he wasn't. He became extremely controlling after our first year of dating. He wanted to control what I wore, what I ate, who I talked to, who I connected with and what I posted on social media, etc. He was very cunning and nuanced with the way he tore me down slowly over time. But then he slipped up, I found out he was cheating, and I woke up enough to get out of there. The break-up was a living nightmare. He refused to "allow" me to break up with him. We were living together. He installed tracking software on my phone and bugged my car. He had people at my job reporting to him on my movements. I couldn't get away from him. I couldn't hide. He kept showing up. He held my dog hostage. The police were useless because he was never physically violent and was careful not to write his threats down. I was in absolute hell for months, living under the terror that he would show up again. I had changed my job, my number, my address, my email account, my social media profiles were private -- this was the one place I forgot to block him. The "I WIN" email was sent the day after the wedding. He said that he had become close with Bella after we broke up. He called himself the "architect of my demise". He said he had fed Bella's paranoia about me and Barrett and that together they had planned my 'punishment'. He said losing everyone important in my life was what I deserved. And then he said WE SHOULD GET BACK TOGETHER. Unless I wanted more 'unfortunate' things like this to keep happening. (Yes, he a delusional prick.) It took me a while to collect myself and get my shit together after reading that. I fell apart for a few days. My mom helped pull me back together and now knows the details about what happened with Matthew. She connected me with a family friend, an attorney, that is currently helping me file for a restraining order against Matthew. I tried during the stalking period, but couldn't afford an attorney and was denied. I think with the email evidence and the attorney saying things the right way, it will be granted this time but the hearing is not for another couple of weeks. It is on zoom and Matthew will get a chance to be there. I am terrified to see him, even just on a screen. (If you read this Matthew, please realize that I am not so terrified that I won't **taze the fuck out of you** if you ever come near me again.) Once I had dealt with my own safety, I had the realization that I was in possession of absolute proof that the wedding incident was a setup. I considered blasting it out everywhere, but I still have so much shame about being in an abusive relationship and cannot bring myself to do it. So I decided to just forward it to Barrett with a small amount of explanation. Barrett did not respond to the email. I do not know what happened in Bella and Barrett's household after that, but what I do know is that two nights later, Bella drunk drove her car to my parent's house. While attempting to park in their driveway, she ran over their mailbox. When my parents answered the door, she started screaming about how I'm a homewrecking slut. In her drunken ramblings, my parents were able to figure out that Barrett had left her. Her parents were called over from next door to collect their drunk daughter. My dad said they seemed extremely embarrassed. I know a lot of people here will probably be fist pumping the air that Bella met with some karma. I'm not one of them. Matthew is a monster, and I know firsthand how charming and convincing he is. Bella, much like I did, fell for his act. Her happiness has been destroyed by Matthew too. And I have a really hard time blaming her now that I know that he was pulling the strings. But she also made her choices. I'm not dumb enough to reconcile with her either. My #1 priority is my safety and anybody who has ties to Matthew is somebody I need to stay far away from. Bella will have to find her own path back to good. There is a role that opened on my team in another country. It's a manager position, which would be a promotion for me and my boss thinks I should apply. While it would be harder having even more distance from my folks, I think being in an entirely new country might help cultivate a feeling of safety for me. One that I'm not sure I can get in this city now. So that might be what's next for me. I don't really know how to end this properly. I'm just tired. Thanks for the support, reddit. I probably won't sign into this account again. **TL;DR:** My abusive ex-boyfriend Matthew was feeding Bella's paranoia about Barrett and I. He was involved with planning my 'punishment' with Bella. He sent me an e-mail to an old account bragging about his victory in destroying my relationships and asking to get back together. I forwarded the email to Barrett. Barrett left. Bella drunk drove her car into my parent's mailbox. I am seeking a restraining order against my ex and am considering leaving the country.

Every year I try to go to the movies as much as possible. It’s my main hobby. I keep track of my thoughts/scores throughout the year, along with all of my ticket stubs. In theaters, I saw: 5 movies in 2015, 9 movies in 2016, 146 movies in 2017, 162 movies in 2018, 192 movies in 2019, 44 movies in 2020, 86 movies in 2021, 270 movies in 2022, 325 movies in 2023, and 298 movies this year. This doesn’t include rewatches, but those are pretty rare for me (7 this year). This is my 7th year doing this ranking on /r/movies. I have a subscription with AMC’s A-List, Regal’s Unlimited, and Cinemark’s MovieClub. I’m also a member of the Fort Lauderdale, Miami, and Toronto film societies. I attended 8 film festivals this year, for a total of 117 films. I attended 24 World Premieres, 11 North American Premieres, 7 US Premieres, 10 East Coast Premieres, 22 Southeast Premieres, 4 Canadian Premieres, and a few Florida/Georgia Premieres. 96 of my screenings had cast and/or crew present for Q&As/intros. I do these rankings and reviews/random thoughts for fun. It’s not meant to be taken super seriously. I just like movies, and I like ranking them. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- **Red Rooms** - 10/10 - The most gripping psychological-thriller since *The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo*. Extremely disturbing and unsettling at times, but also stylish and sleek. The courtroom scenes and vampire-movie-like score stick with you for a long time. Juliette Gariépy puts in the best performance of anyone this year. There's so much amazing stuff happening with French-Canadian cinema recently and this is another great addition. Best movie of the year. One of the best movies of the past decade. **Dune: Part Two** - 9/10 - Sci-fi doesn't get much better than this. I have the seemingly-unpopular opinion that the first movie is better than the second, but both are near-perfect. Everything that can be said about Dune 1/2 has pretty much already been said. **Anora** - 9/10 **Civil War** - 9/10 **Nosferatu** - 9/10 - Gothic horror is so back. Lily-Rose Depp does things in this movie physically that I've never seen before on the big screen. Extremely impressed with her performance (and with Hoult/Dafoe/Skarsgard/Corrin as well). A great ensemble surrounded with perfect set design, direction, and cinematography. Loved the scenes in the castle that almost appeared black-and-white. Robert Eggers has not missed for me so far, and this is my favorite of his. **Challengers** - 9/10 **Sing Sing** - 9/10 - Colman Domingo, give that man his Oscar [John Malkovich Rounders voice]. **The Substance** - 9/10 **You Are Not Alone** - 9/10 - Part La La Land, part Under the Skin, part Eternal Sunshine. A beautiful and hypnotic sci fi love story with a slight horror edge and with layers upon layers of metaphor. It has a lot of interesting things to say about mid-20s loneliness/thoughts of suicide/love/etc. **Didi** - 9/10 - I'm a sucker for coming-of-age dramas set in recent times. Give me more of this and mid90s-type movies pls. **The Order** - 8/10 **We Live In Time** - 8/10 - I went in expecting heartbreak (which I got), but I didn’t expect how funny/sharp it would be. Florence and Andrew have 10/10 chemistry. Only thing keeping it from a higher score is the goofy Super Bowl of Food or whatever scene near the end. The scene at the beginning in the parking garage might be one of the most heart wrenching and well-acted scenes of the entire year. Top-tier score as well. **Love Lies Bleeding** - 8/10 - I would watch a 2-hour movie montage of Katy O'Brian working out beneath a highway underpass. A violent & twisted mess of sweat/blood/sex/tears/ungodly bodily noises. A real wicked fun time. **The Goldman Case** - 8/10 - French courtroom dramas, so hot right now. An insanely smart and water-tight screenplay with engrossing performances. It reminded me a lot of Anatomy of a Fall then I realized the co-star (Arthur Harari) in this film is the co-writer of Anatomy. **The Beast** - 8/10 - A movie that's almost impossible to describe but I'll try: Dystopian-future-sci-fi, period-drama, modern-incel-breakin-thriller, all while staying completely original and beautiful. Extremely layered story and performances. Lea Seydoux and George MacKay are 2 of my favorite actors and they pulled this off with extreme precision and care. One of more harrowing final scenes of the year for sure. **Conclave** - 8/10 **Saturday Night** - 8/10 - Frenetic, engaging, and a really fun time. Flies by. I wanted more. So much energy. **September 5** - 8/10 **The Brutalist** - 8/10 - I have some problems with the ending, feels like it undid a lot of what was experienced, but otherwise an impressive monster of a movie. Brody and Pearce are outstanding. **Io Capitano** - 8/10 **Fremont** - 8/10 - I love movies that flow like light poems, like Petite Maman or Journey to A Mother's Room. It was a very sweet and cozy. The psychiatry sessions in particular were hilarious, and the bit where the diners are reading their fortunes in the restaurants were perfect. One of my favorite lines of the year is when the old lady fortune cookie writer dies at her desk, and the boss says “she was getting too old to write about the future anyway”. The lead and Jeremy Allen White were only onscreen together but their chemistry was infectious **Seagrass** - 8/10 **LaRoy, Texas** - 8/10 - A hilariously-dark Coen Brothers throwback with wonderful performances from Steve Zahn and John Magaro (who I was lucky enough to meet prior to the screening). It's bloody and smart, and that's a rare combination. **A Quiet Place: Day One** - 8/10 **The Last Showgirl** - 8/10 - Apart from a few awkward line-deliveries and questionable dialogue in spots, this was a very lowkey, engaging drama with a career-best performances from Pamela Anderson and Dave Bautista. Very dreamy and light. **Friendship** - 8/10 - It's so fucking stupid. Absolutely no plot to speak of. There's no character development. It's barely even a movie. It's basically a 90-minute sketch. All that being said, it's so goddamn hilarious. Non-stop laughs. Most I've laughed since Red Rocket probably. It's a can't-miss for any Tim Robinson fan and a can't-miss for any fans of laughing. Kate Mara was the perfect foil character. **The Wild Robot** - 8/10 - Yes, I cried, what of it? **Relay** - 8/10 - A very solid, tight, throwback to the type of paranoid corporate-thrillers they don’t really make anymore. A super fun twist that I didn’t see coming at all, and a standout turn from Lily James. It slightly loses its way near the end. **Good One** - 8/10 - Familiar and lowkey, but with a dark edge that slowly reveals itself, and a superb breakout role from Lily Collias. Great debut film from director India Donaldson. **A Complete Unknown** - 8/10 - There's definitely a lack of plot but at the end of the day we all just want to see Bob Dylan's Greatest Hits performed by a generational talent in Timothee Chalamet and it definitely delivers in that aspect. **Midwives** - 8/10 - One of the more stressful movies I’ve seen in a while. My anxiety was through the roof, especially in the first half. It’s so realistic and graphic at times (and some of it *has* to be real, some birth scenes especially) that you almost get a sense that it’s a documentary. Totally nails the landing too, making you feel real anger/empathy about how Midwives are treated in France (and other places I assume). **Hellbent On Boogie** - 8/10 **Alien: Romulus** - 8/10 - Put Cailee Spaeny in anything and I'll watch it. **Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga** - 8/10 **The Old Oak** - 8/10 - British realism cinema at it's finest. Just another classic added to Ken Loach's resume. **Longlegs** - 8/10 **Babygirl** - 8/10 **One Life** - 8/10 - I'm not a huge movie-cryer but I was absolutely balling my eyes out near the "moment". You know it's coming and it's still hit. Impressive when a movie can do that. Last movie that hit me like that was probably Tori and Lokita, and before that Moonlight. This was up there in terms of tears. Did not really expect it going in. Devasting. Anthony Hopkins kills these types of roles, he has a way of showing bottled up regret/sadness that not many others can. **The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare** - 8/10 - Over-the-top violent fun time. Totally ridiculous but it doesn't take itself seriously and that's what keeps it from veering into. Also, Eiza Gonzalez. That is all. **Strange Darling** - 8/10 **Los Frikis** - 8/10 **Suncoast** - 8/10 **Drive-Away Dolls** - 8/10 - I want more unapologetically horny movies like this. Loved all of Beanie Feldstein's bits and the slow, sleep-deprived descent into madness of the henchmen especially. Not too sure abou the weird-cheap transitions and trippy scenes though. "You're a day late and a penis short" and "Suki that's your wall dildo!" are two of the funniest lines of the year, within context. Give me more fast-paced 75-minute movies. **In A Violent Nature** - 8/10 -This made me feel physically nauseous several times, would strongly recommend. Some of the gnarliest kills I've ever seen on the big screen. **A Real Pain** - 8/10 **Abigail**- 8/10 - As a French-Canadian, big shoutout to Kevin Durand for his on-point Quebecois accent. Also, "Sammy, those are fucking onions" was one of the best/funniest line deliveries of the year. Really entertaining gory vampire flick. Dan Stevens is straight up having a fun time this year and I'm enjoying it every time. Melissa Barrera is now competing with with Mia Goth and Samara Weaving as top Scream Queens. **Deadpool & Wolverine** - 8/10 **Bring Them Down** - 8/10 - I love me a slow-burn family feud drama that slowly snowballs into something dark and sinister. Christopher Abbott is one of my favorite working actors today and he does incredible work here, especially with the accent/Irish/body language. Disclaimer: Not recommended to people sensitive to animal violence/cruelty. There's a lot of that. **The Piano Lesson** - 8/10 - As far as Denzel Washington-produced, August Wilson adaptations are concerned, this is way above *Fences*. Felt less like a straight-up filmed play. The supernatural element and amazing Danielle Deadwyler performance (give her an Oscar soon pls) make this more layered and interesting. Bonus: I was sitting with/near the cast/crew for this one, 5-10 feet away from Denzel/Danielle/John David/Malcolm/Corey Hawkins/Ray Fisher/Michael Potts. Amazing experience. **Nickel Boys** - 8/10 **Fresh Kills** - 8/10 - A really solid mob-drama told from the perspective of a mob boss' daughter, which I appreciated. It's rare you see this story from that angle. Emily Bader's scene with her dad near the end. Holy. Fucking. Shit. **Between The Temples** - 8/10 - Carol Kane was absolutely magnetic and a joy to watch in this, and Jason Schwartzman was her perfect endearing counter. Lovely movie, that makes you want to curl up into a ball and cringe to death near to end, in a good way. The most painful-to-watch family reunion/dinner since Shiva Baby. **Problemista** - 8/10 - I stand with Bank of America. Julio Torres is kind of a revelation in this. His facial expressions (and hilarious run-walk thing) are perfect. Absurd, funny, and sweet comedy with so much flair and uniqueness. Some fun little details that got good laughs out of me, like Tilda's character always having her phone light on. Chaotic in all of the right ways. **Sisterhood** - 8/10 **Days of Happiness** - 8/10 **The Apprentice** - 8/10 - It's not breaking any new ground but Sebastian Stan is a pleasure to watch transform into Trump as the movie goes on. Grimy and gross like the streets of New York in the 80s. **Wil** - 8/10 **Naked Ambition: Bunny Yeager** - 8/10 **Soul** - 8/10 - I didn't get to catch this during it's original run due to COVID so I'm glad it came back. My favorite Pixar movie in a little while. **Femme** - 8/10 **I Saw the TV Glow** - 8/10 **Heretic** - 7/10 - A fun horror with sharp dialogue and an incredibly-hammy Hugh Grant performance. **Emilia Perez** - 7/10 - Some amazing musical numbers, especially the opener and "El Mal", and Zoe Saldana has an amazing performance where she carries the entire thing (Gomez and Gascon are getting lots of praise but I didn’t see it), but it just felt like it never fully came together to reach full potential. **Mountains** - 7/10 - A very small and warm movie about the very big and cold issue of gentrification and the real estate crisis in South Florida. Monica Sorelle is a director to watch for sure. **Skywalkers: A Love Story** - 7/10 - Other than a few moments that seemed a bit scripted (mostly the relationship drama), this is the most thriller documentary since Free Solo. **Ghostlight** - 7/10 **Shoshana** - 7/10 - Israeli true-life spy-thriller, a bit Bond-like. There's a few kills in here that are insanely brutal and the explosions/gunshots catch you by surprise. It had me jump a few times. **The Dead Don't Hurt** - 7/10- Extremely slow, don't go in expecting an action-packed Western, but Viggo has a really good eye for beautiful backgrounds and settings. Vicky Krieps is top-tier as always. This movie doesn't work without her. I like slow Westerns. **The Fall Guy** - 7/10 **Thelma** - 7/10 **Twisters** - 7/10 -Natural disaster flicks just work for me. Getting to look at Daisy Edgar-Jones for 2 hours never hurts as well. **Cuckoo** - 7/10 - Insanely impressive and physical performance from Hunter Schafer. Cool visual style and flair, but ultimately dragged down by a total clusterfuck of a plot. I was confused throughout. Hilarious German accent from Dan Stevens **Peak Season** - 7/10 **Kneecap** - 7/10 - Some of the funniest one-liners of the year ("Look who it is, Bone Thugz and no harmony", "I feel like I discovered the Beatles, if the Beatles were shit."). The whole RRAD storyline kept it from greatness though, that was a bit too goofy for its own good. **Wolfs** - 7/10 - I went in wanting Pitt/Clooney banter and that's exactly what I got. **Blink Twice** - 7/10 **My Old Ass** - 7/10 **Better Man** - 7/10 **Nightbitch** - 7/10 - Your mom's favorite movie of 2024. The awful first trailer didn't do it justice, this was solid, it just doesn't get dark like you'd hope it would. **Out of Darkness** - 7/10 - Saw this during a Mystery Movie Monday and was pleasantly surprised. Pretty brutal, atmospheric, and violent. Some cool overhead shots and a nice score. One of the better Mystery Movies I've seen. **We Grown Now** - 7/10 **The End We Start From** - 7/10 **Kinds of Kindness** - 7/10 - Not the best Yorgos but deliciously-freaky and daring filmmaking nonetheless. **Babes** - 7/10 **Fancy Dance** - 7/10 **MaXXXine** - 7/10 - Definitely the weakest of the trilogy but still a solid slasher with a very interesting setting. Mia Goth has great moments like in the first two. **Horizon: An American Saga Chapter 1** - 7/10 - I don't care, the montage at the end was sick. I really hope Costner gets to fund as many of these as he wants. **Wicked - 7/10** - Pretty good, not great. Ariana Grande was the standout. There were only 2 songs that were really catchy though, wish there were more. **Juror #2** - 7/10 **Fly Me to the Moon** - 7/10 **The End** - 7/10 - Gorgeously-shot, super well acted, beautiful set design and production, but way too long and had no reason to be a musical. The songs were all exactly the same and pointless and there much so much time in between that you would forget it was even a musical. George MacKay kills it. **Being Maria** - 7/10 **Cabrini** - 7/10 - Maybe a bit overlong but honestly not bad. Surprised it's from the same director as Sound of Freedom, it's quite a step up from that. Much larger and ambitious in scope, and the lead actress was really really great. It solidly panders to its intended audience but it’s well made enough that you can just gloss over the eye-rolling moments. **In the Land of Saints and Sinners** - 7/10 - The best Neeson action-flick in a while, so that's something. Kerry Condon as the big villain was awesome. Need more of her in stuff. **Y2K** - 7/10 - The single-funniest death scene of the year was the skateboard scene. Laughed so hard, made my night. Audience really dug this one too, good atmosphere. Fred Durst. **The Queen of My Dreams** - 7/10 - I was getting massive Deja Vu with The Persian Version last year. Extremely similar story and vibe, equally fun/honest/heartfelt. **Speak No Evil** - 7/10 **Immaculate** - 7/10 - Sydney Sweeney stepping out of her comfort zone and doing a nun-horror is cool. Long take near the end was sick. **Gladiator II** - 7/10 - Doesn't hold a candle to the original but it was still an entertaining sandals & swords story. Fred Hechinger is so awful in this though. Man, that took me out of it. **Back to Black** - 7/10 - This movie is conflicting. In a vacuum, ignoring Winehouse's actual story, it's a solid music-biopic carried by a powerhouse breakthrough performance from Marisa Abela and an amazing soundtrack (obviously). On the other hand, it's a disgusting whitewash by her estate to downplay her truly awful father. The fact that he had final approval over this movie, and will financially benefit from it, is just gross and hard to ignore. The 2015 documentary does a better job telling Amy's whole story in an emotional way, and that doc made my blood boil (and is one of my favorite docs ever). **Coup!** - 7/10 **The Hypnosis** - 7/10 **The Last Stop in Yuma County** - 7/10 **Your Monster** - 7/10 **Blitz** - 7/10 - The cartoonish villains and improbably scenarios the kid kept finding himself in took this down a notch for me. Could've been great, but it didn't quite get there. How much bad shit can happen to one kid in 24 hours? Find out with Blitz. On a technical level it had a lot going for it though. **In the Summers** - 7/10 **Maria** - 7/10 - Jolie kills it and it looked gorgeous but a really big step down from Jackie/Spencer for Pablo Larrain, a big 'style over substance' movie and weirdly disrespectful to Jackie Kennedy as well for some odd reason. Very weird structure. **Lost Soulz** - 7/10 **The Girls Are Alright** - 7/10 **All We Imagine As Light** - 7/10 - With all the hype I was expecting to be blown away. It was good but kind of a let down. **Girls Will Be Girls** - 7/10 **Ezra** - 7/10 **Young Woman and the Sea** - 7/10 - An inspiring sports-biopic with a very old-school and authentic feel. The Remember the Titans of swimming movies. It hits all of the cliches and it's super cheesy, but in all of the right ways. It just works. Daisy Ridley was great, and as far as swimming movies are concerned, it's definitely ahead of Nyad. **Hundreds of Beavers** - 7/10 - It's funny and original, I just wish it was a bit shorter. Some of the bits definitely outstay their welcome after a while. I really like the grassroots campaign they've built around this movie though, everything from the independent theatrical showings to the support of physical media. A great success story for indie film this year. **The Idea of You** - 7/10 **Crossing** - 7/10 **Sleep** - 7/10 **Monkey Man** - 7/10 - Solid action flick for the first and third acts, but dragged down by a super boring 2nd act (where it loses all of the momentum it built) and lots of sloppy/confusing editing, especially during chase sequences. Credit for the Terrence Malick-like flashback scenes with narration/sweeping music/shots of nature/etc, pretty cool to throw those into an action movie. **The Color Purple** - 7/10 **The Damned** - 7/10 - You're hanging out with the soldiers on the frontier of the American Civil War and almost nothing happens for the entire runtime except you learn about the characters and their thoughts on life/god/religion/etc. I enjoyed it. **Mean Girls** - 7/10 **Driving Madelaine** - 7/10 **Late Night with the Devil** - 7/10 **Snack Shack** - 7/10 - Aside from the needless death at the end that tries too hard to squeeze tears out of your eyeballs, I thought this was a fun, raunchy, summer-y throwback comedy. This would've been one of my favorites in middle school probably. **Beetlejuice Beetlejuice** - 7/10 **Joker: Folie a Deux** - 7/10 **The Outrun** - 7/10 - Less a compelling story and more a showcase on Saoirse Ronan's acting abilities. The camera basically doesn't move from her for a single second and she completely carries it. She's the best. **Flow** - 7/10 **Black Box Diaries** - 7/10 **Queer** - 7/10 **The Return** - 7/10 **New Life** - 7/10 - I really respect a movie that can pull off a wild genre-switch halfway through the movie. Went in fully blind so it was totally unexpected. Also impressive this tiny movie could license Bob Dylan’s Like A Rolling Stone (played a few times). **Lisa Frankenstein** - 7/10 - The ultimate "could've been truly great with a R rating" movie. **Bob Marley: One Love** - 7/10 - It does just enough to keep it out of the Super Generic Biopic Genre and any movie that can squeeze a few tears out of me gets an extra point. Sorry, that's just the rules. **Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes** - 7/10 **1992**- 7/10 - Other than Ray Liotta being written like a ridiculous cartoon villain and some eye-rolling dialogue issues, it actually was a pretty solid crime drama... and Tyrese Gibson was…good? (/r/brandnewsentence) **French Girl** - 7/10 **The Peasants** - 7/10 - Visually impressive and a sick score, but a schmaltzy/melodramatic story kinda kept it from the next level. **The Monk and the Gun** - 7/10 **Bad Boys: Ride or Die** - 6/10 **Seven Blessings** - 6/10 **Knox Goes Away** - 6/10 - Michael Keaton does his best and commits but the writing & performance of every single side character brings the whole thing down a bit. The cop/ex-wife/son characters are bumbling, distractingly-dumb goofballs that keep the plot from ever grounding to reality, but it ultimately gets dark and violent enough to stay pretty entertaining. The script really could've used some more cleaning up. **Trap** - 6/10 - Listen I have a lot (*a lot*) of problems with this movie but Kid Cudi randomly showing up for 5 minutes and randomly delivering insane lines like "“I specifically said i wanted honey suckle kombucha biiiiitchhhh” made the trip to the theater worth it. **Small Things Like These** - 6/10 **Sometimes I Think About Dying** - 6/10 **Kidnapped** - 6/10 **Asphalt City** - 6/10 - Standout performance from Tye Sheridan but this leaned a bit too much into misery porn for my liking. Every single day is the absolute worst day on the job. Extremely stress-inducing first hour. Mike Tyson being cast as the medic chief was certainly a choice...and it worked somehow? **Eden** - 6/10 - Had trouble getting past the awful accents and the sinking feeling that this was missed potential. I was at the World Premiere for this and someone in the audience had a medical emergency, they had to pause the screening and turn the lights on while the person was carried out on people's shoulders. Jude Law/Sydney Sweeney/Ana de Armas/Ron Howard were all there wondering what was going on. Kind of a crazy situation. **Land of Bad** - 6/10 **Unstoppable** - 6/10 **Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire** - 6/10 - Skull Island's bland and less impressive/memorable little brother. Thumbs up for Baby Kong and the Rio de Janeiro destruction sequence, thumbs down for the lame story and unlimited amounts of annoying human characters. **Bad Shabbos** - 6/10 **Inside Out 2** - 6/10 **Firebrand** - 6/10 **A Different Man** - 6/10 - I didn't connect to this as much as most people did. Sebastian Stan is great as usual but the whole thing didn't do much for me. **Love Me** - 6/10 - 10/10 for the attempt, 4/10 for the execution. There's a really good movie hidden in here somewhere, but there needed to be some cuts made to the animated portions of the film for sure. **Shell** - 6/10 **Housekeeping for Beginners** - 6/10 **Totem** - 6/10 **The Fire Inside** - 6/10 **Widow Clicquot** - 6/10 - This starts off really really really slow but then finds its footing late and ends on a solid note. Career-best performance from Haley Bennett, she really carries this. **Tuesday** - 6/10 **Piece by Piece** - 6/10 **The Cut** - 6/10 - Standout turns from Orlando Bloom and Caitriona Balfe, brought down by some weird editing choices. The neon-green hallucinations were a wild choice. I sat next to Katy Perry for this movie, AMA. **Memoir of a Snail** - 6/10 **The Romano Twins** - 6/10 **Mufasa: The Lion King** - 6/10 **Film Geek** - 6/10 **Self-Reliance** - 6/10 - Pretty cute movie with a few laughs, but the ending lost its focus and felt rushed. The Andy Samberg bits were great. I wanted more from the relationship with Anna Kendrick's character, feels like there was more to explore there. "This an intervention." "For me?" "No, we're just all facing the wrong direction." **Queen of the Ring** - 6/10 **Coup de Chance** - 6/10 - It's nowhere near peak-Woody Allen but it's a passable return to form since Rifkin's Festival, Wonder Wheel, and A Rainy Day In New York (all 3 awful, with Rifkin's Festival being rock bottom for Allen's filmography). The one thing it was missing was humor. I can always trust an Allen film to at least have a few funny/witty lines (even the bad ones), but this was very cut and dry. Could've used a few more good lines. **Sasquatch Sunset** - 6/10 - I was excited for the premise and there's a few sweet/funny moments, but most of it ends up being mindless shitting/pissing/fucking. Credit for the unique idea and great views. **Bird** - 6/10 - One of the more disappointing films of the year. Even after the lukewarm reception at Cannes, I had super high hopes because I’m a huge Andrea Arnold fan, but the surrealism in this movie just didn’t work. It threw off the whole balance and wasn’t at all what I expected/wanted. Nikiya Adams and Barry Keoghan were both very solid, and the scene where the group sang Coldplay’s Yellow to the frog was amazing. **Omni Loop**- 6/10 **Here** - 6/10 - A valiant attempt but ultimately kind of a hot mess. A few good moments keep it watchable. Some real uncanny valley shit in there too though. **Queen Rock Montreal** - 6/10 **Turning Red** - 6/10 **Scrambled** - 6/10 **The Book of Clarence** - 6/10 - LaKeith Stanfield was great and committed as usual (although I don't like twin dual-roles), and James McAvoy and Cumberbatch chewing on scenery was fun, this movie had a lot of trouble figuring out what it wanted to be. I really wish it leaned more into the funny/satire and less into the serious Mel Gibson/Jim Caviezel-type biblical drama. Cool that a movie like this can be made/funded and released in theaters though. **Booger** - 6/10 **Irena's Vow** - 6/10 - Great story, extremely generic period drama. **A Great Divide** - 6/10 **Riff Raff** - 6/10 - A bit outdated and mean-spirited, this would've slapped in 2006, but Bill Murray and Pete Davidson as the incompetent mob assassins makes it worth a watch. **Rosalie** - 6/10 **Skincare** - 6/10 **Yellow Bus** - 6/10 **Arcadian** - 6/10 - It's fine and stretches its tiny budget so its absolute limit but it's basically a Dollar Store A Quiet Place. The monster design and animation was hilariously-bad though, like an Asylum knock-off movie. I'm also now convinced that Nic Cage is contractually obligated to have his face smothered in fake blood for any movie. **Nutcrackers** - 6/10 **The Invisibles** - 6/10 **Riley** -6/10 **Rob Peace** - 6/10 - A well-shot movie with great direction and performance from the supporting characters (Mary J Blige and Chiwetel Ejiofor) completely dragged down by an awful lead performance by Jay Will. Also the script was a bit silly, they were trying way too hard to make him 100% infallible. **Christmas Eve in Miller's Point** - 6/10 - I liked the hectic atmosphere of the crazy Christmas family party that we've all been at, and the very scratchy look of the camera. **Rumours** - 6/10 - I can appreciate what Maddin was going for, and there's some moments that work (mostly with Cate Blanchett and Charles Dance, they were awesome), but overall surreal-absurd-fantasy-comedy like this just doesn't work for me. **Fallen Fruit** - 6/10 **Birthrite** - 6/10 **Crumb Catcher** - 6/10 **Anselm** - 6/10 **Scapegoat** - 6/10 **Seeds** - 5/10 - There’s clearly heart and maybe a great movie in here somewhere, but it’s such a tonal mess that it’s hard to find anything to love. **Sujo** - 5/10 **The Beekeeper** - 5/10 - This is the Rebel Moon of Jason Bourne movies. A few cool kills and classic Statham one-liners keep it from being a total loss, but it's not very good. **Unsung Hero** - 5/10 **Jeanne du Barry**- 5/10 **Treasure** - 5/10 **A Sacrifice** - 5/10 **The American Society of Magical Negroes** - 5/10 - All over the place and it gave a constant feeling of "missed opportunity" (a la Book of Clarence). Justice Smith is straight-up not a convincing lead. An-Li Bogan was the standout, and I saw her end twist coming from a mile away so I got that going for me which is nice. **La Syndicaliste** - 5/10 **Sonic the Hedgehog 3** - 5/10 **The Watchers** - 5/10 **Borderlands** - 5/10 - Went in expecting a 1/10, got a 5/10. Nice. Life is all about the little wins. **Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire** - 5/10 - Just give this franchise a permanent rest. It wasn't awful in any particular way, but it was totally soulless and heartless. It felt like nobody really gave a shit except Kumail Nanjiani. Safe, sanitized, studio slop. They couldn't even fully commit to the one interesting thing (the gay ghost love story). **National Anthem** - 5/10 **The 4:30 Movie** - 5/10 - Kevin Smith jerking himself off for 80 minutes. Would make a fun double-feature with *Snack Shack* though. **Universal Language** - 5/10 - This had a lot of hype of out Cannes and it's Canada's submission for the Oscars so I had a lot of hope, but it just didn't do much for me. Surreal-absurdism just isn't my cup of tea. The only real standout scene was the one with the Quebec democrat. A rare case of the Q&A being more interesting than the movie itself. **Kraven the Hunter** - 5/10 **Time Still Turns the Pages** - 5/10 **Upgraded** - 5/10 - Basically a Great Value The Devil Wears Prada. Good as rom-com-background-nois. Marissa Tomei is awful in this. One of the worst performances of the year. **Sound of Hope: The Story of Possum Trot** - 5/10 **Out of Season** - 5/10 **Miller's Girl** - 5/10 **Latin for All** - 5/10 **Argylle** - 5/10 - How a movie like The Creator can be made for $80M but something so awful-looking like this needs $200M blows my mind. **I.S.S.** - 5/10 - I love a good sandwich-making climax as much as the next guy, but what a painfully awkward ending. The first 25 minutes made me think something decent could be happening then it derails hard and never recovers. The worst thing to happen to the space program since Challenger. **Get Away** - 5/10 **Brothers** - 5/10 **Life's a Bitch** - 5/10 - France's (bad) answer to Yorgos Lanthimos. A dry, twisted, gross, weirdly-sexual, anthology film with a lot less nudity but a lot more dogs than Kinds of Kindness. Kinda loses its way comedically and becomes a chore after the first chapter. **Azrael** - 5/10 **Monster Summer** - 5/10 - Like a G-rated IT, with Mel Gibson for some reason (?) **Kung Fu Panda 4** - 5/10 **Garfield** - 5/10 V**illains, Inc** - 5/10 - It had a certain cheap charm but an overwhelming sense of "SNL Digital Short sketch stretched way too thin". **Excursion** - 5/10 **Sleeping Dogs** - 5/10 **Notice to Quit** - 5/10 - The kid actor was really good but I'm just a bit over following an extremely unlikeable lead around doing shitty things to people. **Reunion** - 5/10 **The Boy in the Woods** - 5/10 **Paradise** - 5/10 **Karaoke** - 5/10 **It Ends With Us** - 5/10 **Poolman** - 4/10 - The ugly, boring, confused lovechild of Inherent Vice and Under the Silver Lake. **Avenue of the Giants** - 4/10 **Arthur the King** - 4/10 - Marky Mark has really devolved as an actor honestly, really tough performance from him here. It's like he's completely forgotten how to convincingly deliver lines. Right from the GoPro scenes at the beginning I knew it was gonna be a rough time. This movie is like 85% exposition. **Janet Planet** - 4/10 - Bookended by 2 great scenes, but filled with mostly pointless garbage. **Dandelion** - 4/10 **By the Stream** - 4/10 - I enjoy Hong Sangsoo movies in very small doses. This dose was just way too big. **Venom: The Last Dance** - 4/10 **Red One** - 4/10 **Oh, Canada** - 4/10 - Dreadfully confusing, and Jacob Elordi puts in one of the worst performances of the year, but at least that Phosphorescent soundtrack kept me engaged. **Slingshot** - 4/10 **Adios Buenos Aires** - 4/10 **Humane** - 4/10 **Some Other Woman** - 4/10 **My Daughter, My Love** - 4/10 **Madame Web** - 4/10 - Slop. **IF** - 4/10 - Not really for adults, not really for kids/teens. Who was this movie even for?... **Freud's Last Session** - 4/10 **Werewolves** - 4/10 - So much lens flare. I am now blind. **Ramona at Midlife** - 4/10 **The Last Front** - 4/10 **My Penguin Friend** - 4/10 **Augure** - 4/10 **Which Brings Me To You** - 4/10 - Looking back over this ranking, I'm gonna be honest and say I have no idea what this was. Don't remember. To producers out there: please stop making your movie titles random vague sentences. **Mai** - 4/10 **Meanwhile on Earth** - 4/10 **Lizzie Lazarus** - 4/10 **Or Something** - 4/10 **The Way We Speak** - 4/10 **Cult Killer** - 3/10 - Antonio Banderas shows up for like 5 minutes and then nopes the fuck out. Total paycheck movie. **The Feeling that the Time for Doing Something Has Passed** - 3/10 - There were some funny lines (especially the 9/11 dating profile bit) but this was so painfully dry and slow that I could never really connect. If desert-dry, awkward, deadpan delivery, with an absurd amount of BDSM-sex-stuff thrown in is your thing, you might find a few things to like. I could not. **Never Let Go** - 3/10 **The Throwback** - 3/10 **The City** - 3/10 **Rats!** - 3/10 - This would've worked well as an edgy Youtube short in 2012. **The Best Christmas Pageant Ever** - 3/10 **He Went That Way** - 3/10 - Half roadtrip comedy with a chimp, half brutal serial killer drama. Tonally all over the place. The kind of movie you'd expect Jacob Elordi to try to bury (a la Dicaprio with Don's Plum) and fire his agent over before it sees the light of way. Baffling decisions made by everyone here. **Megalopolis** - 2/10 - I went in expecting a mess but I was still not prepared for how bad this was. It’s Neil Breen with an unlimited budget. It felt like 6 hours. It looked so cheap and awful. A mix of Lifetime movie and a middle school play. I refuse to believe it’s bad on purpose for comedy. The only thing keeping this from a 1 is that Adam Driver/Coppola/Nathalie Emmanuel/Giancarlo Esposito were at my screening for Q&A (god bless their sweet little souls for having to seriously promote this hot mess). "What do you think of this boner I got right here?” is a line 85 year old Jon Voight actually says in a real movie in the year of our lord 2024. My therapist will hear about this. **A Boy Who Dreamt of Electricity** - 2/10 **Isle of Hope** - 2/10 - Sometimes I wonder why I do this to myself. **Chosen Family** - 1/10 - This was borderline unfinished and full-on embarrassing. The production value of a daytime soap opera mixed in with the sound editing of a local high school play. It's impressive how much filler (drone shots of surrounding neighborhood) can be squeezed into 84 minutes of movie. Sitting a few seats away from Heather Graham was a nice bonus (with Q&A), but it couldn't come close to making up for this disaster. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- *Unranked (Re-Releases and/or TV Series):* **Dune** (Re-Release) - 10/10 **Interstellar** (Re-Release) - 10/10 **Ex Machina** (Re-Release) - 9/10 **The Shawshank Redemption** (Re-Release) - 8/10 **Bound** (Re-Release) - 8/10 **Mr. & Mrs. Smith Episodes 1 & 2** (TV Series) - 7/10 **Possession** (Re-Release) - 7/10 **But I'm A Cheerleader** (Re-Release) - 7/10 **The Acolyte Episodes 1 & 2** (TV Series) - 6/10 **Society** (Re-Release) - 6/10 **Black Christmas** (Re-Release) - 6/10 **Apples Never Fall Episode 1** (TV Series) - 6/10 **Maniac Cop 2** (Re-Release- 6/10 **The Room** (Re-Release) - 5/10 **Cruel Intentions Episode 1** (TV Series) - 5/10 **La Maquina Episode 1** (TV Series) - 4/10 **After Annecy** (Short Film) - 3/10 **Maniac** (Re-Release) - 3/10 **Mother** (Re-Release) - 3/10 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- **Stats:** **Multiple Viewings:** * Dune: Part Two (x2) * Babes (x2) * Deadpool & Wolverine (x2) * Sing Sing (x2) * Back to Black (x2) * The Wild Robot (x2) * Anora (x2) **Theater Distribution by Venue/Chain:** * AMC - 96 * Regal - 66 * Silverspot - 18 * Cinemark - 8 * Landmark - 1 * Other/Festival/Independent - 109 (Including: Arsht Center, Autonation IMAX, Cinema Paradiso, Classic Gateway, Coastal Creative, Coral Gables Art Cinema, Enzian Theater, Hard Rock Ballroom, Koubek Center, TIFF Lightbox, Lucas Theater, Miami Theater Center, Movies of Delray, O'Cinema South Beach, Princess of Wales, Roy Thomson Hall, Royal Alexandra, Savor Cinema, SCAD Museum, Scotiabank, Tampa Theater, Trustees Theater) **Film Festivals Attended:** * Toronto International Film Festival - 30 Movies in 8 Days * Savannah SCAD Film Festival - 20 Movies in 8 Days * Miami Film Festival - 20 Movies and 1 TV Series in 10 Days * Florida Film Festival - 19 Movies in 6 Days * Miami Jewish Film Festival - 10 Movies in 7 Days * Popcorn Frights Film Festival - 7 Movies in 4 Days * Fort Lauderdale International Film Festival - 6 Movies in 4 Days * Gasparilla International Film Fstival - 5 Movies in 2 Days **Theater Visits by Month:** https://i.imgur.com/sKQYFp9.png * January: 32 * February: 17 * March: 27 * April: 54 * May: 18 * June: 18 * July: 12 * August: 24 * September: 38 * October: 23 * November: 22 * December: 13 **Theater Visits by Day of the Week:** https://i.imgur.com/xC7pt1S.png * Monday - 25 * Tuesday - 23 * Wednesday - 23 * Thursday - 49 * Friday - 64 * Saturday - 67 * Sunday - 47 **Notable Missed Movies:** https://i.imgur.com/iPhOD5s.png **Cast/Crew/Filmmaker Q&As/Appearances:** * Part 1 - https://i.imgur.com/a6JsfR0.png * Part 2 - https://i.imgur.com/YQIJZUl.png * Part 3 - https://i.imgur.com/9cyEkKY.png **Favorite Performances:** https://i.imgur.com/Sfv5OZB.png **Past Rankings:** * [2018 \(162 Movies\)](https://www.reddit.com/r/movies/comments/aavyrr/i_saw_162_movies_in_theaters_in_2018_here_is_my/) * [2019 \(192 Movies\)](https://www.reddit.com/r/movies/comments/eh71gy/i_saw_192_movies_in_theaters_in_2019_here_is_my/) * [2020 \(44 Movies\)](https://www.reddit.com/r/movies/comments/kp39ku/i_saw_44_movies_in_theaters_in_2020_here_is_my/) * [2021 \(86 Movies\)](https://www.reddit.com/r/movies/comments/ruaxif/i_saw_86_movies_in_theaters_in_2021_here_is_my/) * [2022 \(270 Movies\)](https://www.reddit.com/r/movies/comments/zzvg5y/i_saw_270_movies_in_theaters_in_2022_here_is_my/) * [2023 \(325 Movies\)](https://www.reddit.com/r/movies/comments/18v7k6g/i_saw_325_movies_in_theaters_in_2023_here_is_my/)

**I am STILL NOT the Original Poster. That is still** [DeceasedCaterpillar](https://www.reddit.com/user/DeceasedCaterpillar/). She posted in [r/AITA\_Relationships](https://www.reddit.com/r/AITA_Relationships/), [r/relationship\_advice](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/) and her own page. Thanks to u/AnFnDumbKAREN for letting me know about the update Previous BORU [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1nz94mo/my_28f_boyfriend_29m_let_my_stalker_ex_28m_into/). **New Update marked with \*\*\*\*\*** **Trigger Warnings:** >!stalking; internet stalking; manipulation; emotional abuse!< **Mood Spoiler:** >!still pretty much wtf wtf wtf!< **Background** [Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AITA_Relationships/comments/1h97um8/aita_for_breaking_up_with_my_boyfriend_after_he/)**: December 7, 2024** **Title:** AITA for breaking up with my boyfriend after he chose me in an ultimatum? Me (27F) and my boyfriend (27M) have been dating for two months. We have so much in common, he's super sweet and always goes the extra mile for me with grand romantic gestures, even asking me out by buying me my favorite comic book and leaving a sticky note between the pages confessing his feelings. I've never gotten anything but amazing vibes from him this whole time until now. However, BF has a childhood friend (27F) I'll call Syd. My boyfriend was very upfront when we started dating that he and Syd had romantic feelings for each other in the past but decided it would be best they only stayed friends since they didn't want to risk their friendship. I never actually met Syd before and have only heard about her from BF and vice versa. About two weeks ago, my BF texted me, super distraught, telling me that Syd called him, saying that she was too jealous of my and BF's relationship and that she couldn't stand being BF's friend while he was in a happy relationship with me. She basically gave BF an ultimatum of him having to break up with me or she would cut him out of her life. I was baffled by this, thinking that this 27 year old woman, who had mutually agreed with BF that they would never date, was so childish to give him a ridiculous ultimatum and I voiced that to him. He got mad at me, saying "It's not that simple" and seemed to be seriously considering breaking up with me just to stay friends with Syd. I was in disbelief that he couldn't see how manipulative and abusive this was, and that the obvious conclusion would be to cut her off since she was clearly toxic and controlling, but he was still on the fence and we ended up taking a break and not talking while he "thought it over". The next week and a half, he barely talked to me, telling me he's in a very hard place while I became increasingly frustrated that this would even be a hard choice. Like, we're in a happy relationship, and he's debating breaking up because his crazy friend can't handle her jealousy? I was fuming. He then finally came to me after that time of not talking saying he decided to "choose me" and leave his friendship with Syd behind, but by that time I was so mad that it was even a choice that took two whole weeks to decide to begin with that I ended up breaking up with him anyway. Now his friends are telling me I'm an asshole for not breaking up with him sooner because now Syd is still cutting him out for picking me over her AND I'm still leaving him, whereas if I had broken up with him during the weeks he was "thinking it over", he would have at least been able to stay friends with Syd. But honestly, I didn't even realize how mad I was until he picked me and made it seem like he was some kind of martyr for doing so. AITA? **Update (Same Post): Date unknown, sometime in the next month** UPDATE: Apparently, Syd has completely cut EXBF off and blocked him on everything. He is begging me to take him back, even contacting my friends to attempt to convince me (luckily, all my friends are telling him to eff off). He wrote me some 2000 word essay on how I'm the best thing that ever happened to him and that he was blinded by his happy childhood memories of Syd. I also found out they slept together in the past before we started dating, so that's cool! But it was just "a one night stand" to "see what could have been." Either way, he was definitely hiding more about his relationship with Syd than I was told. I don't really care anymore. I'm not taking him back. He's a grown-ass man who should have known better than to ghost me for two weeks to "think it over" as if things would be the same after he decided to "pick me". Doubt anything else interesting will happen but I might update if it does. I'm honestly just hoping this will be a reality check for him, and he'll get the message. At least his friends have stopped bothering me. **Original** [Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/1nr5u49/my_28f_boyfriend_29m_let_my_stalker_ex_28m_into/)**: September 26, 2025 (almost 10 months later)** I (28F) broke up with my ex (28M) ten months ago but he will not get over it. Despite me wishing to no longer interact with my ex, as well me as dating someone new (Cole, 29M), my ex has been trying to win me back by doing over-the-top things like sending me gift baskets, love letters, chocolates, etc even though I've blocked his number, on all social media and always ignore his "attempts to woo me" with his gifts. He never actually interacts with me directly. Never waits for me outside or tries to talk to me, he just leaves me gifts at our doorstep and runs away. It's creepy and makes me super uncomfortable. Cole, who I live with, doesn't actually see an issue with this and says he "feels bad for my ex" and "doesn't want me to waste my ex's money/efforts" so I reluctantly just let Cole eat the chocolates and other crap since he insists I don't throw them out. He even likes reading the love letters even though I tell him I don't want to. I don't understand why he's so chill about this because my ex and Cole aren't even friends and have never interacted, so it makes no sense why he's so okay with my ex doing these dumb gestures that he KNOWS make me uncomfortable and creeped out. If anything, Cole should be pissed off that someone is trying to steal his girlfriend, right? Anyway, all of this finally came to a head on my birthday. After work, I came home to our apartment decorated in balloons, chocolates, and flowers. I'm immediately touched, thinking all of this was a surprise from Cole. NOPE. Apparently, my ex actually CAME OVER with all this crap, buzzed our apartment doorbell, Cole LET HIM IN, and allowed my ex to DECORATE OUR APARTMENT AND LEAVE GIFTS FOR ME. Then my ex left before I could get home. Cole apparently saw NO ISSUE WITH THIS. He literally LET MY EX INTO OUR APARTMENT LIKE IT WAS NO BIG DEAL because my ex "came all the way with all these gifts which was such a thoughtful gesture!". Now I feel totally unsafe. What if my ex secretly left a hidden camera or something?! I have no idea why Cole is so fine with all of this! I've talked to him over and over and he won't understand why I would want to reject free stuff from someone who cares about me. I love Cole but the fact that he actually let my ex into our apartment was a huge breach of my trust and I have no clue how to deal with this. Is this relationship just unsalvageable or is there a way I can get it through Cole's head that none of this is okay? Could Cole have ulterior motives by letting my ex do all of these things? Any advice is welcome. I just have no clue how to handle this absurd situation. Thanks. Edit: Thank you for all the insight, everyone! I really appreciate it. I don't have the money to do everything that was recommended, but I am going to do some investigating into Cole and my ex possibly being in cahoots with each other and confront Cole this weekend, likely to end this clusterfuck of a relationship. If there's any interest, I'll update if anything significant happens. Thank you again! Edit 2: Fixed an error ***Some of OOP's Comments:*** Commenter: Something is very wrong with Cole. What the fuck does he mean he feels bad for your ex who's stalking you? \[...\] Do you mind if I ask why you're already living with Cole? >**OOP:** Cost of living mostly. I live in a very expensive city so I was living month to month on my own. He basically offered to be my "roommate" so that we can go half and half on the rent/internet/utilities and it would relieve my financial stress (which it has A LOT). It might have been stupid to jump the gun at us moving in so quickly but he had only shown green flags until now. I can technically kick him out and try to look for a different roommate if things are totally done for since most of the stuff in our apartment is mine. Commenter: How did you meet Cole? >**OOP:** Through work. We both worked together in retail for a couple of years before I moved to a proper salary job and casually stayed in touch with him after I quit. We would text to just catch up and play video games together over Steam. A couple of months after I broke up with my ex he asked me out for coffee and things just progressed from there. Commenter: How do you know Cole and your ex don't know each other, they seem like buddies to me. How do you know Cole, how long have you been together? >**OOP:** (downvoted) I've been with Cole for almost 8 months at this point. I have no idea how the two of them could have met since they don't share any friends, went to different schools, work totally different jobs, and have completely different interests. Unless they secretly became friends while my ex has been stalking me and he's hidden that from me which would just be absolutely ridiculous because who would want to be friends with the guy who is stalking/trying to steal your girlfriend but at this point I have no idea anymore. Commenter: I think they have become secret allies. You need to get away from Cole. In the meantime all gifts and edibles get destroyed, cut up and coated with bleach so they can't be used, eaten or gifted. Put them in the big dumpster and send a photo to your ex each time. Tell him this is what you think of his garbage gifts. Does Cole have friends and family? If so tell them all what he's doing, shame is a powerful motivator >**OOP:** (downvoted) Cole has been the one eating all the edibles and interacting with the gifts. I do not even touch them, lol. My initial thought is maybe he wanted to keep my ex's gifts around so he could get free chocolates to eat. At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he's actually THAT careless. His friends already know about all of this and seem to think it's funny that my ex is such a "tryhard". His family lives across the country but I could try texting them. Commenter: So then just deal with it if you wont put a stop to it. Just be with jerky cole and let him eat himself silly. girl you need a back bone. and stay single for a while, your picker is broken. sorry to sound harsh but I can't figure out why you have two jerks in a row and can't figure out when to break up or how to keep pests from your life. >**OOP:** (downvoted) No you're right. My ex was easy to break up with because I had only been dating him 2 months before he pulled some absolutely dumb crap that pissed me off so much I felt no remorse in dumping him instantly. With Cole, it's a bit different since I've known him years before dating and thought he was a really great guy until now. He's genuinely sweet in every other way except this one thing but this "one thing" is definitely bad enough to outweigh the good things. It just sucks. But I have to think about my safety first. Commenter: OP they know each other. Think about it, there is no way your ex is going to be chill handing out and decorating the apartment while your bf is literally watching him. And you bf isn’t going to be chill letting your ex do that. I’m really concerned they are in this together and you are in danger >**OOP:** I'm really starting to think this could be the case. My bf is WFH so there's a chance he caught my ex while he was dropping things off and they talked. He denies that but I'm becoming more and more paranoid now and I am definitely going to see what I can do to end this relationship in case they are secretly in cahoots. *To another commenter:* I'm 99% sure they WEREN'T friends originally but I am starting to think they have come in contact at some point before this birthday incident and Cole has been keeping this from me *OOP's background:* >I grew up with an abusive mom and an absent father so my relationship understandings are probably screwed up. Maybe I should probably go back to therapy for a while after this before putting myself out there again... *The 'green flags' Cole showed:* >I meant he only showed green flags before we started properly dating and we moved in together. Before this whole stalker mess, he was (or at least pretended to be) thoughtful, funny, helpful, and sweet. The type who if you told him you had a hard day he'd offer a shoulder massage and let you vent to him. It wasn't until this stalker ex stuff that he showed such a disregard for my safety and comfort. **Update** [Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/1ntmjfw/update_my_28f_boyfriend_29m_let_my_stalker_ex_28m/)**: September 29, 2025 (3 days later)** Hello all, my last post blew up a bit and many people were concerned about me so I'm going to give you this update. I can't even put into words how insane this situation has gotten. Original post is [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/lgwJGmWYJ4). TL;DR my boyfriend Cole has been allowing my stalker ex to send me gifts like it's no big deal, and even let my ex into my apartment to decorate for my birthday. When I got back home on Friday, I tried to come up with a good plan to keep myself safe while I confronted Cole in case he were to do something scary (a lot of people put the fear of god into me in the comments of my last post). I invited my very tall and intimidating younger brother over to be there while I talked to Cole. My brother couldn't come over until Sunday, so I spent a day and a half awkwardly trying to pretend everything was fine, but I must have done a shit job because Cole kept asking me what was wrong and love bombing me. Eventually Sunday came around, my brother showed up and I/we grilled Cole about why the hell he's been so fine with my ex coming around with gifts and even letting him in to decorate our apartment for my birthday. I was NOT ready. All of you had a lot of theories, one of which came up a lot was that the two knew each other and/or were working together to do this. If anything I would have RATHER that been the case because the truth is so much more fucked up. Basically, Cole has been FIXATED on my ex. He has essentially been stalking my stalker. Cole admitted that he made fake social media accounts (Yes. Multiple.) to follow my ex, and has been stalking his Instagram and Facebook. Apparently, my ex has been making a lot of vent posts about me and how hurt he is that I'm not returning his feelings and have moved on so fast and Cole has been egging him on on his alt accounts to get my ex to keep trying. The reason my ex is still stalking me is because Cole has been literally telling him to on his fucking alt accounts. It's obvious my ex is unstable if he's listening to random strangers telling to "keep trying" and Cole is taking advantage of his instability by planting thoughts into his head. If I am to believe Cole's words, my ex has no idea that it's Cole that's been encouraging him to keep pursuing me but I can't be certain about anything this guy says at this point. So why, you ask, was Cole doing all of this? That is exactly what my brother and I asked. This was his answer; to give my ex false hope. Basically to bully(?) him. Any time my ex angst-posted on his social media about me, Cole got some sick satisfaction out of watching his misery. He wanted to string my ex along to keep trying to win my heart just to watch him fail over and over. Cole finds it hilarious that my ex is wasting so much money on gifts for me and that it's HIM who eats the chocolates and reads the desperate love letters my ex sends to me while I act like my ex's gifts are radioactive and avoid them. This has all been some sick game to see how long he can get my ex to keep pining for me. Who the hell even DOES THIS? I've been living in fear for months because Cole thinks it's funny to manipulate my ex and watch him be "heartbroken"? I cannot articulate how sick all of this is. How is this funny? What is wrong with him? He said he "makes sure not to go too far" by discouraging my ex to make direct contact with me but I can't believe anything anymore. I've read so many stories of people who were dating someone who seemed so sweet initially but turned out to be actually unhinged, but I naively never thought that could be me. I was so careless and dumb because I clung to someone who finally treated me with kindness but he is a twisted man who turned my ex into a monster by feeding his delusions. I think if he hadn't done all this, my ex probably wouldn't still be stalking me in the first place!! My constant fear and discomfort have just been an "unfortunate byproduct" of his little game of puppetry. I can't even comprehend how someone could do something like this. I'm so shaken up I feel like I'm spiraling. Suffice to say I'm living with my brother and his gf while my ex gets the hell out. I told him he needs to move out within the week or I'm getting the cops involved. He didn't make a fuss or anything, surprisingly. He just looked at the floor like a kicked puppy. He hasn't even tried to call or text me but I blocked him just in case. I'm going to see if my landlord can understand my situation and let me break lease early with no extra cost, but if I can't, my brother is going to cover the extra cost in the meantime, and I'll stay with him and his gf until I can find somewhere else. My brother is seriously a godsend. I'm DEFINITELY going to go back to therapy as soon as possible because this whole situation has me unable to sleep at night, trust anyone and I really need a better understanding of what are red flags in relationships. So many of you told me I was a pushover and you're all right. It shouldn't have taken this long for me to call this relationship with Cole off. This is so fucked up, but I'm safe for now. I don't know what I'd do without my brother and his gf. Thanks to everyone who told me to get out of this relationship because Cole was way more twisted than I ever could have thought. I don't even know if he told the whole truth, but I don't even care anymore. I'm out. Gone. Never looking back. **Edit (11 hours later)** Edit: Thank you everyone for your advice and words of encouragement! I called the non-emergency police line to file a report of all this. It wasn't super helpful other than just making a record so I'll do a follow-up with them once I have safe access to my apartment and can collect evidence. I unblocked Cole for now to gather any text evidence as some of you suggested but he's been pretty quiet. He sent a photo of a couple of garbage bags full of his stuff and he asked if he could have a day to say goodbye to my cat (I have her with me currently at my brother's place, no way am I letting her near him). I haven't replied yet. I turned read receipts off. Haven't contacted ex 1 yet (still figuring out the best way to do that). Tomorrow is a stat holiday where I live so my brother and his gf will be home from work. We are working together to figure all this out. Definitely moving out of my current place as soon as I can. Sorry I can't reply to all the comments, I'm still pretty overwhelmed and anxious and there are so many that it's frying my brain but I'm trying to read most of them. I appreciate every one of you, though! ***Some of OOP's Comments:*** Commenter: Holy shit! I'm glad you updated us but WTF?!? That's absolutely insane and I'm glad you're safe >**OOP:** Yeah me too... I took the week off from work because I need to just figure all this shit out. I'm so full of anxiety but my brother is trying to distract me by talking about competitive Pokémon (bless his heart). Commenter: Your brother, or someone, needs to tell your stalker. I have no sympathy for a stalker but if this went down as described, he’s basically been a victim of cyber bullying and there is no way of knowing what might happen next. He needs a dose of reality. For your safety. >**OOP:** I was so caught up in escaping that I never considered this. You're right. Thank you for reminding me, my head is such a mess right now. I'll need to brainstorm the best way to let my ex know. I hate to know how he'll react to that, though. Commenter: Maybe ask your brother to do it with an online message. It *definitely* should not come from you and this needs to head off any communication from your ex and his fake accounts. \[...\] >**OOP:** Oh I am definitely not going to contact my stalker ex myself. I'll probably get my brother to do it since he at least met my ex a few times while I was dating. My dumb self didn't think to record Cole's confession so we don't have hard proof of his cyber harassment toward my ex. Just gotta hope he believes us and stops interacting with Cole's alt accounts (though I don't know the name of Cole's alts, just that he has them, which is also complicated) *OOP clarifies:* >He was sending me gifts before I started dating Cole but it definitely ramped up AFTER I started dating Cole # NEW UPDATE **\*\*\*\*\*Update** [Post](https://www.reddit.com/user/DeceasedCaterpillar/comments/1o05qdx/update_2_stalker_exbf1_and_unhinged_exbf2/) **2: October 6, 2025 (1 week later)\*\*\*\*\*** **Title:** (Update 2) Stalker exBF1 and unhinged exBF2 Hello! Relationship\_Advice only allows one update so I'm continuing here. Sorry it has been a while, it's been a hectic week. Original post [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/0ZoEwvCwSC). Update 1 [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/p9JIQ4fHPl). Here are the highlights: Cole has moved out. Locks have been changed! Still looking for a different place to move into. The housing market here is awful. I've been staying with my brother despite Cole having moved out because I don't feel safe in that apartment. We have a nice arrangement at my brother's place with me buying half the groceries and cooking three times a week. Kitty is now comfortable here (she was hiding under the bed for like 3 days). Still not sleeping well but I'm safe so that's what matters. I haven't talked to the police since before. I just couldn't find enough evidence in my apartment to make any kind of case since I threw out most of my stalker ex's gifts. Here's the pretty big update: Stalker ex has been informed of Cole's doings (I'm just going to start calling Stalker ex "James" to make things easier). My brother contacted James on Facebook and told him what's been going on. We didn't have physical proof of what Cole did, nor the names of his alts, but we knew enough specific details that it seems James believed us (I've been vetting everything my brother has been sending). James has informed that he checked and most of the accounts that were encouraging his stalking have been deactivated, so it further backed our story and it seems like Cole is covering his tracks (probably anticipated this). From the conversation, it seems that James has been wary of Cole ever since Cole let him into my apartment for my birthday. He said he didn't actually want to come into the apartment and just wanted to leave the gifts and decor with Cole, but Cole INSISTED he came in, and that made him feel super awkward and uncomfortable. He was worried that Cole was trying to coax him inside my apartment in order to hurt him, because the way he was acting was really off. He did his best to be in and out as fast as possible because apparently Cole just gave him bad vibes. Anyway, James seems pretty shaken. He didn't put 2 and 2 together that Cole was the one encouraging his behavior, but was starting to get frustrated by the "encouragement". Which James said bordered on harassment because one of Cole's alts would spam his dms with ideas and asking for updates and it was getting really intrusive (Why did it take this many months for him to finally feel this way???). He apologized and promised he would leave me alone, telling me that this situation has him really shaken up (smells like he wants pity but I'm not falling for that). I don't know if I believe everything James said, I think he may have tried to play up his negative feelings about this in order to gain sympathy from my brother (and me by proxy) but who knows. I'm not going to talk to him. That's hopefully it for the James side of things. On Cole's side, he has been mostly quiet but something did freak me out. After I told James about what Cole did, Cole sent these texts (grammar and spelling edited from original texts): "Why did you give James my number" (Note: I didn't? Not sure how James got his number?) "What the fuck is wrong with you" "Why did you tell him and give him my number" (Note: Again, I only did the former, not latter) "Seriously?" "This is fucking ridiculous" "He's blowing up my fucking phone piece of shit" "You're such a petty bitch for this" "Fucking freak" That was 3 days ago, haven't heard anything from Cole since. Haven't replied to anything he sent. No idea how James got Cole's number so that freaks me out but that is currently not my problem. Went back to work today. Things are okay but I'm still anxious. Will update here on my profile if anything develops but things are stable for now. I don't know if there will be much new now that James is informed and Cole is out. Hopefully, things will stay stable and I can go back to my life. Important edit: Someone sent me a YouTube video of a Reddit Read of my posts that has two updates that never happened and sound like they were written by ChatGPT or other AI, so if you hear anything about a car being Airtagged and me going to court and then moving into a tiny apartment, that's all fake. Don't know why they made AI fanfiction of my story to give it a dramatic conclusion but I can't even drive a car (I have epilepsy)...

**I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/Life_of_the_PartyXO** **Originally posted to r/AITAH** **WIBTAH if I stop all of the favors I’ve been doing for my ex since he has refused the one favor I asked?** **Trigger Warnings:** >!manipulation, possibly mild exploitation!< **Mood Spoilers:** >!infuriating!< ---- [Original Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/SNWw202lHt): **August 12, 2025** This is kind of sweaty, but my (30f) ex-husband Greg (38m) and I have two kids - Louisa (9) and Ted (7). We divorced over 5 years ago and coparent very well, the divorce was because I was happy with our two children but he wanted more, and even therapy didn't help. We have had basically no issues, there's no child support (we're 50/50), have never had issues having the kids if the other parent has something come up, and understand that it's just about making sure their lives aren't too disrupted. Greg remarried Tessie (38f) four years ago and they have another child, a boy, and another about to make their appearance in this world in a few weeks. I am marrying my fiance Luke (36m) in February, we've been together for about 3 years and he's known my kids for 2, we moved in together last year. We have a group chat, but aren't overly friendly or anything - we only talk about the kids and keep it pretty lighthearted. Our only 'rules' with the other datings is that we would introduce our partners to the other before they met the kids, which went great with both of them. When Tessie and Greg married, I obviously kept the kids an extra week for their honeymoon, and again for my actual week so they could settle in (they didn't live together before they got married). When they had their first baby, I kept our kiddos for about a month (but brought them over a few times to see their new brother obviously) so they could settle in since it was Tessie's first baby. A few weeks ago at one of Lacie's games, Tessie told me the date her c-section was scheduled for, which is in the middle of their custody week. I told her we were excited for them and of course I could keep them that week and my following week, and we could go back to normal their next custody period. She kind of hemmed and hawed and asked if we could keep them for another custody week to give them a month again to get used to things. I said that was fine, I didn't expect them to need that much time for their second baby, but C-sections are major surgeries and I said I'd be happy to keep the kid, they don't live far from us so bringing them over to hang out won't be too out of my way and of course I love having my kids with me. Anyhoo, we've finalized our plan for our honeymoon, which is 3 weeks. I know it seems excessive but it's something on both of our bucket lists, but not something the kids would be too interested in, and the honeymoon seems like the best opportunity to do it. Basically what would happen would be that we'd get married on Saturday (my week), the kids would stay with Greg that night and stay for his week, then they would keep them for our week and their next week. So they'd have them for one of my custody weeks plus one extra evening. I don't have family around, my parents died young, grandparents before them, and the aunt and uncle who helped raise me retired to New Mexico (3 hour plan ride + 2 hour drive at min). I have friends who have watched the kids before, but I didn't see a single issue with asking Greg to keep them for a week since it seems like there's a bit of precedent. I texted him the general plan and emailed him a more detailed one with locations, days, times etc so he could know where we were/ how to contact us if there was an issue. I thought all was well and good, but they never responded until a few days later they emailed me what Luke and I jokingly now refer to as The Manifesto. It was long, rambling, repetitive, and still somehow partially written by ChatGPT. The gist of it was: \- what kind of mother on a three week vacation without her kids \- I'm a terrible person in general for asking a young mother to have her stepkids full-time for three weeks while I go and enjoy myself (they/ she kept calling Tessie a young mother, I think she means mother of young kids and I know it's not the point but it kept annoying me. also it wouldn't be alone with her - Greg would obviously be there) \- I am a horrible coparent for asking them to have the kids for three straight weeks while their kids are so young (their newest baby will be 6 months old by then btw) \- Apparently it's all well and fine that Luke and I don't want anymore kids (he has had a vasectomy and known he didn't want kids of his own for a while), but we'd better not think that gives us permission to 'dump' Louisa and Ted on them to galavant around (I don't think I've ever galavanted in my entire life!) \- We needed to figure our own weeks out ourselves, this was not life or death and it was ridiculous to ask them. I got petty after this, especially them acting as if we are constantly 'dumping' the kiddos on them, so I went through the last four years of texts and made a spreadsheet of how many times either of us has asked the other to keep the kids and the duration on an excel sheet. While we both have made these requests, they have done so for 87 nights (52 times) vs me 12 nights (8 times). Obviously, this makes sense since they have a baby, and I didn't send it to them or anything, but it was good to know I'm not crazy. My friends say I should tell them that, fine, I won't keep them during their custody time after their new baby comes. I'm not going to do that. I love my kids and want to see them as much as I can! But I do a lot extra for them, just some examples: \- I (sometimes Luke if he's off work) pick the kids up every single day after school, and on Greg's custody weeks I drop them off at their house since he doesn't get off until 5 so that Tessie doesn't have to take the baby out to pick them up (keep in mind that she does not work anymore) \- Our divorce decree says that whoever's week it is must drop the kids off at the other parent's house, but I've been doing all of the back and forth for a while again because they have a kid and because it's not THAT far (5 minute drive, 20 minute walk if it's nice). \- I take the kids to all of their appointments, do all of the school parent stuff during the day, etc since I have a super flexible schedule and Greg's isn't, he would need to use PTO for all of this stuff. \- We usually split health insurance per the divorce decree, they're on his work's insurance but since I take them to all of their appointments etc I pay all of the copays. I keep a tally just in case I would end up owing him money (and I know what he pays towards the premiums), and in the past it was minimal, but our daughter unfortunately has Type 1 diabetes which has gotten pretty expensive. It wasn't killing me, but Greg mentioned how tight money was once when I was bringing it up and I decided that it's not affecting my life, our daughter needed it, so I've been letting it go. \- Their son has been in the process of being diagnosed with autism, and has pretty bad meltdowns (this is all I know from Greg), so they call me pretty frequently to see if I can come and get the kids for a few hours if things are overwhelming. Of course I love my kids and spending time with them, but I've had to cancel plans for this and they have not cared. Greg was in an accident and has been using my old car (I got a new one and hadn't sold the old one yet, it's not worth a ton or anything) for the past 7 months, with no effort to replace it. \- Greg travels sometimes for work, and they (greg and the kids) have a cat over there. Normally Louisa would take care of the litter box if Greg was travelling, but since her diagnoses and until we get her labs/ health under some form of control, we BOTH agreed that we don't want her messing with it (they let the cat go outside during the day). Since Tessie has been pregnant she said she shouldn't have to, and Ted is a little young (he tried, failed, now he 'helps' lol), so I've been doing it. Anyways, these are all benefits for them that I'm going to inform them are ending. I won't go back on my word to have the kiddos after she has her c-section, but the absolute gall of them to not do the one thing that I have asked of them (and that I've done for them!) have brought me to this. Most of my friends say I'm not going far enough, but a few have said that it might cause a breakdown in our coparenting relationship, which would affect the kids. That's really the only thing I care about, so now I'm hesitant. **AITAH has no consensus bot, OOP was NTA** **Relevant Comments** **Commenter 1:** I mean, even if it does cause a breakdown a) they started it and b) you've been doing a lot of extra. I would reconsider stopping doing the kitty litter because it is true that pregnant women shouldn't handle litter (recently was pregnant myself). But yeah NTA. You do them a LOT of favours that you don't have to. It's a dick move on their part that they won't take the kids for one extra week. > **OOP:** Yeah they’ll have to pay someone because I am uncomfortable with Louisa doing it until we really get the beetus under control and her doctor agrees **Commenter 2:** Ywnbta. Your friends are worried if you send them this info it will "be a breakdown of the coparenting relationship," but don't consider their entitled manifesto to be the first crack at it? Those friends are full of shit. I would send them the excel spreadsheet and tell them to verify it. Remind them of the flexibility you've given them AND you raised small children without the benefit of a 3rd parent. I would tell them how insulting their manifesto and lack of recognition of your efforts to make their lives easier and blend well with all the kids in mind. The audacity it takes to shame you for taking 3 weeks for your honeymoon, when you take the kids to so many things. Fuck them. If they don't wise up, don't take the kids and stick to the custody schedule and work something out with your friends for your weeks. > **OOP:** Yes The Manifesto was incredibly hurtful and came out of NOWHERE. We had always gotten along so well. I know money is tough on them, but Luke said the same as you - they chose to have more kids, she chose to be a SAHM, but it still feels like maybe they’re jealous of the long trip. > > Luke’s parents have offered to watch them, they aren’t huge into kids but like ours, and want to help us out but I feel like it’s not their job when their father will be in town! The other option would be to fly my aunt and uncle up for the week, which I know they’d like but again, it seems ridiculous when their own father will be in town. I couldn’t imagine being in town just hanging out knowing that my kids were at his parents! >> >> **Commenter 2:** If you were my friend, and you have to use your inlaws or aunt and uncle to watch the kids, I would tell you to stop doing all the extra stuff you do. Your ex is a parent to your kids too and needs to act like it. >>> >>> **OOP:** Thank you, I just don’t want my kids negatively affected for sure, but I also don’t want to be a doormat. Like, of course I’d rather pick them up if she can’t get her kid in the car because they shouldn’t have to be in latchkey when they have a SAHM stepmom and a mom who works from home but I think from now if he refuses to find them another ride and she won’t do it, I’ll still pick them up at least, but bring them to my house. **OOP needs to talk with a lawyer about getting more custody of Louisa and Ted** > **OOP:** I don’t have a lawyer :/ we did everything ourselves since it was so copacetic **Commenter 3:** Honestly, I would send an email with the spreadsheet (pretty bad ass imo) and let them know that you don’t appreciate their ungrateful attitude and that you are more than happy to go by the parenting agreement forward. People want to be petty and ungrateful & so do I. Lol > **OOP:** I just feel like the best thing for my kids is to have a good coparenting relationship, my friends parents were divorced and they did NOT get along and made her childhood miserable. It’s not their fault we didn’t work out and I want to do everything I can to make their lives not that much harder. > > But I agree I need to stop being so accommodating. It will be a horrible wake up call and I just don’t want them to make my kids lives worse. **Commenter 4:** Nta. Don't let anyone walk over you. They said you were dumping the kids on them when they were doing exactly the same. > **OOP:** I just hated the word dumping as if my kids aren’t a delight to be around (I mean for their parents, I’m not one of those crazy moms or anything I just can’t imagine saying they were dumped on me) **Does OOP's children have their own rooms when at Greg's house, not sharing with their brother?** > **OOP:** They have their own room at both houses. **OOP on the health insurance her kids have from Greg** > **OOP:** I already give him a huge break tbh. They’re on his insurance so he pays the premiums but since they have their son on it, the premiums stay the same if you have 1 or 7 kids. I could put them on my similar insurance which would actually be a cheaper premium for me to pay, but I let the premiums he pays go towards his half of the medical expenses even though he’d have to pay it all anyways if that makes sense? Lmao fuck American healthcare right? > > Luckily I use my hsa to reimburse myself for the expenses so I can pull those reimbursements easily and make another spreadsheet. If any European or person from an actual first world country need some to explain any of this lmk lol   [Update](https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/y5x9jdATm1): **August 15, 2025 (three days later)** Update: WIBTAH if I stop doing all favors for my ex since he refused to do one for me? Hey everyone I don't know how to link on mobile so my last post is in my profile. I got way too overwhelmed with the responses but like I thought, I was completely being taken advantage of and the friends telling me to let it go can suck it. (JK I know where they were coming from they were just wrong and my egg Greg and Tessie do need to be introduced to my good friend Reality). One thing I didn't mention in my last post is that Greg and I have a long history, I've known him forever since we moved to his mom's neighborhood when I was 4, we were always friendly and then we started hooking up when I was in college and got pregnant. In his defense, he 100% stood up, married me, took care of us, paid for everything while I finished school, and even paid for my college. But even before all that, he's always been a great guy and my friend, I know it seems like I was being taken advantage of but of course over the years people probably thought I was taking advantage of him before I started making the big bucks. It was me who filed for divorce, he said he could probably go to therapy and find a way to make it work but I knew I couldn't ask him to do that. And there has been reciprocity in other ways, after we divorced he definitely helped me a lot in setting up my new home (before Luke and I got together). Doing things like mowing, cleaning the gutters, fixing appliances. Obviously those things don't happen anymore, but I'm just saying it hasn't always been me doing everything. Finally, all of this has NOT been thankless. Up until The Manifesto, they were incredibly and vocally grateful and appreciative. Doing things for appreciative people is great and makes me feel good, unfortunately now that we are living in the Post Manifesto Era, I don't get any joy from helping them out like I used to. With all that being said, I can't continue bending over backwards for him just because he was good to me before. Anyways I got pretty mad at myself at my last post and decided to respond to The Manifesto, as I was hyping myself up though Greg called. I was pretty amped so I decided to answer. He started with apologizing. He didn't say it directly, but I got the gist that Tessie wrote the email in anger because of how overwhelming everything is. He reminded me that it wasn't just his son's issues, Louisa was also struggling to get her diabetes under control (any other type 1 parents can probably relate), and she misread my email to think that I was asking for them to keep them for 3 of my custody periods for a total of 6 weeks. Going back to The Manifesto I can kind of see where she was saying that, but it wasn't the most coherent thing to begin with. He said one week for our honeymoon is totally fine and they will figure it out. He acknowledged that it was entirely inappropriate and uncalled for. Unluckily for him I was not in the best mood and told him damn straight it was one of the most deranged and untrue emails I've ever read. I asked him if anything they wrote in the email rang true to him in the cold light of day and he admitted no. I had kind of been going back and forth on this, and was originally going to tell him to go to hell and we would never switch custody times again, I didn't care if they had 5 more kids with c-sections, but I decided against going that far. I told him that I would get the kids when Tessie had her C-Section, keep them through my custody, and would expect them to have them back during his next custody period - which still gave them 10 days to recover etc. If he needed more help, I expected him to figure out any extra childcare for our kids like he will need to with his other son. He started arguing but I just bulldozed through and told him that he could make this and all of the other times I've helped him out with childcare by watching the kids during my week during my honeymoon. He said that sounded fair and thanked me. But I told him that the email was so far out of line that that any and all extras I've been doing were over immediately. He could either find a new carpool (no bus, private school) or I would keep picking the kids up from school but he or Tessie could get them from my home during their weeks. If they are unable to care for the children due to their son's meltdowns or their new baby, I would be willing to help them, but warned them that due to their accusations I would *start* (LOL) tracking this and if I thought it was becoming an issue I would file for primary custody. I asked him if that would help, he could have the kids every other weekend, I wouldn't demand child support in light of his very difficult situation (even though I know I could) and he insisted that wasn't necessary, that it was on them to figure things out. He really didn't have a lot to say back to any of this and apologized again. I told him that it wasn't impossible to rebuild the trust we have had in the past, but it was going to take a lot of time and hard work on his and his wife's part because I was done putting in so much just to get attacked. He promised he understood and he'd figure everything else out. I told him that since this was another verbal (aka not legally binding) agreement, the first time either of them slips up, makes outrageous demands, or says anything remotely close to what she wrote in that email, I would bring down the hammer because due to the attacks on my character I now had a lawyer on retainer (hadn't met with the lawyer yet but sometimes you need to bluff). He confirmed he understood. Tessie sent me a text apology, it seemed sincere but I don't trust her. I know Greg wouldn't throw her under the bus, but the fact that she thought it was ok to send such a demeaning and demonizing email to me after all I've done for her really ruined any grace I was willing to give her. I sent her a short acknowledgement text, and went on with my day. Both their lives are about to get much, much more difficult. If they try to put any of that discomfort or difficulties on my kids I will move swiftly, but also if it means that my kids get a little less at their dads house than they do here, that's not the worst lesson for them. Their needs will always be met, I know that, and they've been in therapy for a while so while I'm concerned that Tessie could take her frustrations out on them, I truly think they would tell me. I read so many other storeis on here and realized that Two things: So the thing with the car - it's meant for my friend's stepdaughter for when she gets her permit. She is 15, and we all love her so much but she has that disease that 15 year olds get where she really doesn't have any motivation whatsoever. So I was talking about all this to said friend, she told her husband, and he marched upstairs and told his daughter to get dressed so she could go and take her permit test. She failed :) but is going to try again next week, and he is purchasing the car next week - Greg knows and knows he has until then to acquire a new one. And the cat isn't Tessie's cat. It was Greg's guilty divorced dad first Christmas gift lol. I really like the cat, she's very sweet and snuggly and I haven't minded helping especially since Louisa does feel bad she doesn't do it anymore. Honestly if it wasn't for that I probably wouldn't have agreed to help! Luckily the induction is soon, and Greg won't be travelling for a while, so its a moot point. Obviously if they were to decide to get pregnant again, they would need to hire someone to do the litter box going forward. I've probably only done it three times, but I see that was crossing some boundaries I should have put up. I'm going to keep enjoying the life that I've worked hard to build - I know they'll always be around and in my life, and it's unfortunate for them that the choices they made got them in this situation, but they're going to have to rebuild their village. I'm excited for the wedding and especially excited to go to Japan! Those things and of course my kiddos are my focus going forward. Peace! **Relevant Comments** **OOP on her relationship and co-parenting her kids with Greg** > **OOP:** One thing we agreed on first before anything is we are never to badmouth the other parent in front of the kids. To our partners and friends? Sure, as long as little ears are far away. Even sometimes my kids will say disparaging things about Greg or Tessie (nothing concerning just normal kid stuff and kids hate rules!) and we shut it down hard. Obviously if they were to bring up something serious we’d listen, and they are in therapy, it’s more then saying their dad is a butthead for not letting them listen to the same record over. And over. And over again. > > If you’re wondering the record is Princess of Pop by Marina and I have every note memorized at this point. **Why won't Greg's mother help Tessie post-partum?** > **OOP:** She does not get along with Tessie and doesn’t believe they need help after she has the baby. **Commenter 1:** Awesome update, OP. And how much trouble is it really for Greg to clean the darn litterbox. It takes literally seconds. Pretty darn fair on all other things as well. Good for you! Woop woop! > **OOP:** I also want to offer to take the cat bc I love her but Luke is allergic :( we’re getting the kids a dog around the holidays (not a Christmas puppy or anything, but they’ve met and exceeded our demands from them before they can ask for a dog so we might be SOL in saying no!) + > It was only when he travels for work. Maybe a few days a month. > > I’m actually thinking as a sort of nice gesture to get them one of those robotic litter boxes, they’re not crazy expensive, it would help Louisa, and it could be like a thank you for helping us with our honeymoon thing. I’m not saying I will, but Luke brought it up and I think it could be a little - yes I’m pulling back any favors but I still want my daughter and that cute ass cat taken care of. **Commenter 2:** Stop! Don't buy them anything. He's a parent and should parent his children without being paid with gifts. You are getting repaid the favors you have been doing for them. Your daughter needs to learn to deal with the cat box. It's not a hard task, but making it even easier is enabling. Just stop. You don't owe them anything. > **OOP:** My daughter has type one diabetes which is an autoimmune disorder, we are working on stabilizing her sugars and bloodwork but until that happens I am uncomfortable with her doing it   [Ex’s new son has autism - what are the right boundaries?](https://www.reddit.com/r/coparenting/s/UxfX9R0Vt5): **August 16, 2025** So my ex and I had some recent issues to say the least, and I’m completely pulling back any favors that I used to do. It’s deserved on his and his wife’s end, but it is going to hurt them. They have a little boy who’s 3-4ish, and it seems profoundly autistic (still not speaking, has meltdowns, self-injures). In the past, since I live close, if their son was having a very-severe meltdown and my kids were there they’d ask me to come and get them and I usually would. Unfortunately, they have behaved badly and I will no longer be doing this. They’re also about to have another baby, which I’m sure will be stressful as well, so I understand it will be difficult. I obviously don’t want my kids to have to deal with anything traumatic, the little boy is still their brother and they do love him. And I think it’s important for them to have the time with their father and his family. That being said, I obviously want what’s best for my kids. How to I help them remain positive while also protecting them? **OOP on if her ex cannot parent and take care of his children because of his son's meltdowns. OOP and Greg should do what is the best for Louisa and Ted** > **OOP:** We are 50/50 and they are 9 and 7. I agree it needs to be quality time, the issue is, he needs to take responsibility for the kids during his parenting time despite having more. He needs to stop relying on me because I will no longer be helping. I do worry that my kids will end up not wanting to go over if I make them stay during these meltdowns, it’s just so complicated. **OOP needs to teach her kids empathy and compassion with their father and brother** > **OOP:** I’m sorry :( I have been teaching them about empathy and that he’s their brother, they do love him. But he is a lot and has meltdowns where he is very loud and injures himself, they really dislike being there around him as he’s very volatile. And I can only care about my own kids. I’m sorry I know I sound cold about all of this but when you’ve been viscously attacked as a person and a mother for the horrible crime of wanting to go on a honeymoon you lose any and all empathy for some people. **Commenter 1:** I think that your ex and his wife (and you can help with this as well) should help support all of the kids together by helping them to have empathy and compassion for their autistic sibling. Having them just leave is contributing to the stigma of autism (IMO) unless the kids really want to leave and be with you. That said, I think the kids would have to deal with it. So yeah, I wouldn’t think that it’s appropriate to teach the kids to turn their back on a disabled sibling unless it becomes a safety issue, but since they’re older, that doesn’t seem likely at the moment. > **OOP:** In the past I have shown endless support and understanding to my ex and his wife about all of this. I would drop my own plans to go and get them, talk to them about how that’s their brother and they can’t just run away, etc. Unfortunately my patience, support, and empathy is over due to the behavior of my ex and his wife. I understand they need a village, but they burned that bridge with their own actions. > > I think that if my kids ask me to come and get them in the future, I definitely will. But if my ex is just overwhelmed I will tell him he needs to figure his home life out, or we can redo custody. **Commenter 2:** Yeah this has more to do with your ex being overwhelmed then your kids being in actual danger. Their older then your ex’s child, probably more independent and can easily avoid harms way if the child is being aggressive and or violent. Also Dads job is to take care of all his kids. If he has to call you every time his son acts up then may he doesn’t need to have 50/50 parenting time. This isn’t to be petty, this is honest. If he can’t manage the kids in his time then maybe the schedule needs to change. Unless the kids are scared, in danger or begging oh to come get them, Dad needs to deal. Also, what’s to happen later on when he has another baby? Is he just gonna full on neglect your kids? Be ready for anything and document every time you pick them up early. > **OOP:** I agree. Unfortunately for them, but because of their own actions, between the baby and losing me as support their lives are about to be so much more difficult than they have been, but that’s on them and for them to deal with. An sadly I’m not the only person his new wife has done something to, which has led to his mom only helping them with the older kids and refusing to help his wife. Honestly I don’t blame her at all and I’m glad my ex’s mom will hopefully be able to be there when he says he needs help with my kids. It’s just so horrible   Latest Update here: [BoRU #2](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1ocyayb/new_update_wibtah_if_i_stop_all_of_the_favors_ive/?)   **DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7** **THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP**

**I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/Life_of_the_PartyXO** **Originally posted to r/AITAH** **Previous BoRUs:** [#1](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/YNraGzJksW) **[New Update]: WIBTAH if I stop all of the favors I’ve been doing for my ex since he has refused the one favor I asked?** **NEW UPDATE MARKED WITH** ---- **Editor’s note: removed relevant comments from older posts for space in this latest BoRU** **Trigger Warnings:** >!manipulation, possibly mild exploitation!< **Mood Spoilers:** >!infuriating!< ---- **RECAP** [Original Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/SNWw202lHt): **August 12, 2025** This is kind of sweaty, but my (30f) ex-husband Greg (38m) and I have two kids - Louisa (9) and Ted (7). We divorced over 5 years ago and coparent very well, the divorce was because I was happy with our two children but he wanted more, and even therapy didn't help. We have had basically no issues, there's no child support (we're 50/50), have never had issues having the kids if the other parent has something come up, and understand that it's just about making sure their lives aren't too disrupted. Greg remarried Tessie (38f) four years ago and they have another child, a boy, and another about to make their appearance in this world in a few weeks. I am marrying my fiance Luke (36m) in February, we've been together for about 3 years and he's known my kids for 2, we moved in together last year. We have a group chat, but aren't overly friendly or anything - we only talk about the kids and keep it pretty lighthearted. Our only 'rules' with the other datings is that we would introduce our partners to the other before they met the kids, which went great with both of them. When Tessie and Greg married, I obviously kept the kids an extra week for their honeymoon, and again for my actual week so they could settle in (they didn't live together before they got married). When they had their first baby, I kept our kiddos for about a month (but brought them over a few times to see their new brother obviously) so they could settle in since it was Tessie's first baby. A few weeks ago at one of Lacie's games, Tessie told me the date her c-section was scheduled for, which is in the middle of their custody week. I told her we were excited for them and of course I could keep them that week and my following week, and we could go back to normal their next custody period. She kind of hemmed and hawed and asked if we could keep them for another custody week to give them a month again to get used to things. I said that was fine, I didn't expect them to need that much time for their second baby, but C-sections are major surgeries and I said I'd be happy to keep the kid, they don't live far from us so bringing them over to hang out won't be too out of my way and of course I love having my kids with me. Anyhoo, we've finalized our plan for our honeymoon, which is 3 weeks. I know it seems excessive but it's something on both of our bucket lists, but not something the kids would be too interested in, and the honeymoon seems like the best opportunity to do it. Basically what would happen would be that we'd get married on Saturday (my week), the kids would stay with Greg that night and stay for his week, then they would keep them for our week and their next week. So they'd have them for one of my custody weeks plus one extra evening. I don't have family around, my parents died young, grandparents before them, and the aunt and uncle who helped raise me retired to New Mexico (3 hour plan ride + 2 hour drive at min). I have friends who have watched the kids before, but I didn't see a single issue with asking Greg to keep them for a week since it seems like there's a bit of precedent. I texted him the general plan and emailed him a more detailed one with locations, days, times etc so he could know where we were/ how to contact us if there was an issue. I thought all was well and good, but they never responded until a few days later they emailed me what Luke and I jokingly now refer to as The Manifesto. It was long, rambling, repetitive, and still somehow partially written by ChatGPT. The gist of it was: \- what kind of mother on a three week vacation without her kids \- I'm a terrible person in general for asking a young mother to have her stepkids full-time for three weeks while I go and enjoy myself (they/ she kept calling Tessie a young mother, I think she means mother of young kids and I know it's not the point but it kept annoying me. also it wouldn't be alone with her - Greg would obviously be there) \- I am a horrible coparent for asking them to have the kids for three straight weeks while their kids are so young (their newest baby will be 6 months old by then btw) \- Apparently it's all well and fine that Luke and I don't want anymore kids (he has had a vasectomy and known he didn't want kids of his own for a while), but we'd better not think that gives us permission to 'dump' Louisa and Ted on them to galivant around (I don't think I've ever galivanted in my entire life!) \- We needed to figure our own weeks out ourselves, this was not life or death and it was ridiculous to ask them. I got petty after this, especially them acting as if we are constantly 'dumping' the kiddos on them, so I went through the last four years of texts and made a spreadsheet of how many times either of us has asked the other to keep the kids and the duration on an excel sheet. While we both have made these requests, they have done so for 87 nights (52 times) vs me 12 nights (8 times). Obviously, this makes sense since they have a baby, and I didn't send it to them or anything, but it was good to know I'm not crazy. My friends say I should tell them that, fine, I won't keep them during their custody time after their new baby comes. I'm not going to do that. I love my kids and want to see them as much as I can! But I do a lot extra for them, just some examples: \- I (sometimes Luke if he's off work) pick the kids up every single day after school, and on Greg's custody weeks I drop them off at their house since he doesn't get off until 5 so that Tessie doesn't have to take the baby out to pick them up (keep in mind that she does not work anymore) \- Our divorce decree says that whoever's week it is must drop the kids off at the other parent's house, but I've been doing all of the back and forth for a while again because they have a kid and because it's not THAT far (5 minute drive, 20 minute walk if it's nice). \- I take the kids to all of their appointments, do all of the school parent stuff during the day, etc since I have a super flexible schedule and Greg's isn't, he would need to use PTO for all of this stuff. \- We usually split health insurance per the divorce decree, they're on his work's insurance but since I take them to all of their appointments etc I pay all of the copays. I keep a tally just in case I would end up owing him money (and I know what he pays towards the premiums), and in the past it was minimal, but our daughter unfortunately has Type 1 diabetes which has gotten pretty expensive. It wasn't killing me, but Greg mentioned how tight money was once when I was bringing it up and I decided that it's not affecting my life, our daughter needed it, so I've been letting it go. \- Their son has been in the process of being diagnosed with autism, and has pretty bad meltdowns (this is all I know from Greg), so they call me pretty frequently to see if I can come and get the kids for a few hours if things are overwhelming. Of course I love my kids and spending time with them, but I've had to cancel plans for this and they have not cared. Greg was in an accident and has been using my old car (I got a new one and hadn't sold the old one yet, it's not worth a ton or anything) for the past 7 months, with no effort to replace it. \- Greg travels sometimes for work, and they (greg and the kids) have a cat over there. Normally Louisa would take care of the litter box if Greg was travelling, but since her diagnoses and until we get her labs/ health under some form of control, we BOTH agreed that we don't want her messing with it (they let the cat go outside during the day). Since Tessie has been pregnant she said she shouldn't have to, and Ted is a little young (he tried, failed, now he 'helps' lol), so I've been doing it. Anyways, these are all benefits for them that I'm going to inform them are ending. I won't go back on my word to have the kiddos after she has her c-section, but the absolute gall of them to not do the one thing that I have asked of them (and that I've done for them!) have brought me to this. Most of my friends say I'm not going far enough, but a few have said that it might cause a breakdown in our coparenting relationship, which would affect the kids. That's really the only thing I care about, so now I'm hesitant. **AITAH has no consensus bot, OOP was NTA**   [Update #1](https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/y5x9jdATm1): **August 15, 2025 (three days later)** Update: WIBTAH if I stop doing all favors for my ex since he refused to do one for me? Hey everyone I don't know how to link on mobile so my last post is in my profile. I got way too overwhelmed with the responses but like I thought, I was completely being taken advantage of and the friends telling me to let it go can suck it. (JK I know where they were coming from they were just wrong and my egg Greg and Tessie do need to be introduced to my good friend Reality). One thing I didn't mention in my last post is that Greg and I have a long history, I've known him forever since we moved to his mom's neighborhood when I was 4, we were always friendly and then we started hooking up when I was in college and got pregnant. In his defense, he 100% stood up, married me, took care of us, paid for everything while I finished school, and even paid for my college. But even before all that, he's always been a great guy and my friend, I know it seems like I was being taken advantage of but of course over the years people probably thought I was taking advantage of him before I started making the big bucks. It was me who filed for divorce, he said he could probably go to therapy and find a way to make it work but I knew I couldn't ask him to do that. And there has been reciprocity in other ways, after we divorced he definitely helped me a lot in setting up my new home (before Luke and I got together). Doing things like mowing, cleaning the gutters, fixing appliances. Obviously those things don't happen anymore, but I'm just saying it hasn't always been me doing everything. Finally, all of this has NOT been thankless. Up until The Manifesto, they were incredibly and vocally grateful and appreciative. Doing things for appreciative people is great and makes me feel good, unfortunately now that we are living in the Post Manifesto Era, I don't get any joy from helping them out like I used to. With all that being said, I can't continue bending over backwards for him just because he was good to me before. Anyways I got pretty mad at myself at my last post and decided to respond to The Manifesto, as I was hyping myself up though Greg called. I was pretty amped so I decided to answer. He started with apologizing. He didn't say it directly, but I got the gist that Tessie wrote the email in anger because of how overwhelming everything is. He reminded me that it wasn't just his son's issues, Louisa was also struggling to get her diabetes under control (any other type 1 parents can probably relate), and she misread my email to think that I was asking for them to keep them for 3 of my custody periods for a total of 6 weeks. Going back to The Manifesto I can kind of see where she was saying that, but it wasn't the most coherent thing to begin with. He said one week for our honeymoon is totally fine and they will figure it out. He acknowledged that it was entirely inappropriate and uncalled for. Unluckily for him I was not in the best mood and told him damn straight it was one of the most deranged and untrue emails I've ever read. I asked him if anything they wrote in the email rang true to him in the cold light of day and he admitted no. I had kind of been going back and forth on this, and was originally going to tell him to go to hell and we would never switch custody times again, I didn't care if they had 5 more kids with c-sections, but I decided against going that far. I told him that I would get the kids when Tessie had her C-Section, keep them through my custody, and would expect them to have them back during his next custody period - which still gave them 10 days to recover etc. If he needed more help, I expected him to figure out any extra childcare for our kids like he will need to with his other son. He started arguing but I just bulldozed through and told him that he could make this and all of the other times I've helped him out with childcare by watching the kids during my week during my honeymoon. He said that sounded fair and thanked me. But I told him that the email was so far out of line that that any and all extras I've been doing were over immediately. He could either find a new carpool (no bus, private school) or I would keep picking the kids up from school but he or Tessie could get them from my home during their weeks. If they are unable to care for the children due to their son's meltdowns or their new baby, I would be willing to help them, but warned them that due to their accusations I would *start* (LOL) tracking this and if I thought it was becoming an issue I would file for primary custody. I asked him if that would help, he could have the kids every other weekend, I wouldn't demand child support in light of his very difficult situation (even though I know I could) and he insisted that wasn't necessary, that it was on them to figure things out. He really didn't have a lot to say back to any of this and apologized again. I told him that it wasn't impossible to rebuild the trust we have had in the past, but it was going to take a lot of time and hard work on his and his wife's part because I was done putting in so much just to get attacked. He promised he understood and he'd figure everything else out. I told him that since this was another verbal (aka not legally binding) agreement, the first time either of them slips up, makes outrageous demands, or says anything remotely close to what she wrote in that email, I would bring down the hammer because due to the attacks on my character I now had a lawyer on retainer (hadn't met with the lawyer yet but sometimes you need to bluff). He confirmed he understood. Tessie sent me a text apology, it seemed sincere but I don't trust her. I know Greg wouldn't throw her under the bus, but the fact that she thought it was ok to send such a demeaning and demonizing email to me after all I've done for her really ruined any grace I was willing to give her. I sent her a short acknowledgement text, and went on with my day. Both their lives are about to get much, much more difficult. If they try to put any of that discomfort or difficulties on my kids I will move swiftly, but also if it means that my kids get a little less at their dads house than they do here, that's not the worst lesson for them. Their needs will always be met, I know that, and they've been in therapy for a while so while I'm concerned that Tessie could take her frustrations out on them, I truly think they would tell me. I read so many other stories on here and realized that Two things: So the thing with the car - it's meant for my friend's stepdaughter for when she gets her permit. She is 15, and we all love her so much but she has that disease that 15 year olds get where she really doesn't have any motivation whatsoever. So I was talking about all this to said friend, she told her husband, and he marched upstairs and told his daughter to get dressed so she could go and take her permit test. She failed :) but is going to try again next week, and he is purchasing the car next week - Greg knows and knows he has until then to acquire a new one. And the cat isn't Tessie's cat. It was Greg's guilty divorced dad first Christmas gift lol. I really like the cat, she's very sweet and snuggly and I haven't minded helping especially since Louisa does feel bad she doesn't do it anymore. Honestly if it wasn't for that I probably wouldn't have agreed to help! Luckily the induction is soon, and Greg won't be travelling for a while, so its a moot point. Obviously if they were to decide to get pregnant again, they would need to hire someone to do the litter box going forward. I've probably only done it three times, but I see that was crossing some boundaries I should have put up. I'm going to keep enjoying the life that I've worked hard to build - I know they'll always be around and in my life, and it's unfortunate for them that the choices they made got them in this situation, but they're going to have to rebuild their village. I'm excited for the wedding and especially excited to go to Japan! Those things and of course my kiddos are my focus going forward. Peace!   [Ex’s new son has autism - what are the right boundaries?](https://www.reddit.com/r/coparenting/s/UxfX9R0Vt5): **August 16, 2025 (next day)** So my ex and I had some recent issues to say the least, and I’m completely pulling back any favors that I used to do. It’s deserved on his and his wife’s end, but it is going to hurt them. They have a little boy who’s 3-4ish, and it seems profoundly autistic (still not speaking, has meltdowns, self-injures). In the past, since I live close, if their son was having a very-severe meltdown and my kids were there they’d ask me to come and get them and I usually would. Unfortunately, they have behaved badly and I will no longer be doing this. They’re also about to have another baby, which I’m sure will be stressful as well, so I understand it will be difficult. I obviously don’t want my kids to have to deal with anything traumatic, the little boy is still their brother and they do love him. And I think it’s important for them to have the time with their father and his family. That being said, I obviously want what’s best for my kids. How to I help them remain positive while also protecting them?   ---- #----NEW UPDATE---- [Update #2](https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/Vbp9ahGQp6): **October 15, 2025 (two months later)** **Update: aitah for not wanting to do any more favors for my ex?** I posted before about stopping doing any favors for my (30f) ex Greg 38m and his wife Tessie 38 after she sent me an unhinged email after I asked them to keep Greg and my kids (7 and 9) for one of my custody weeks while I go on my honeymoon with my fiancé Luke. lol hey hope you’re all doing well. Just another day in paradise over here. I’m mostly joking, things have been good. Greg and Tessie had another little boy like a month ago. I did take the kids for one of their custody weeks. Tessie is still mad at me though and sent me this whole long text the week before telling me that when I brought the kids to the hospital to see the baby she didn’t want me bringing them up and they’d just have to figure out how to get upstairs themselves because Greg would be busy but I’d need to stay and not leave because she didn’t know how long they could be there. I was just like… okay? I know with their last kid they specifically invited me in to meet the baby but that’s not a big deal to me i know this sounds bad but I really don’t like babies lol. But then it made me be like, I don’t need to be at the woman’s beck and call so I just had Greg’s mom take the kids to meet the baby which was apparently NOT the right call and I got in trouble for lol. I also have stopped the group chat thing and am only communicating with Greg. Yes Tessie still contacts me but I don’t respond or acknowledge them unless it’s directly about the kids. But otherwise I’ve just not let their drama affect us. I dont bring these things up but they basically told Luke that when their brother has a meltdown they just hang out up or downstairs and it’s not that big of a deal to them. But they like when I come and pick them up those little shits ahaha. And they didn’t tell him this in confidence just randomly so I told them they were not being good siblings and they could always call me but that was their family too. So I don’t even feel bad about not picking them up anytime they ask. But sometimes I still do. But now I’m in a weird place because obviously I was invited to their wedding and everything but I don’t think I should invite them to ours? Lol i mean obviously not right? We have a lot of mutual friends and apparently she told one of them that if I kept this up (this being not doing whatever they say) that they’d file for child support and the only reason they hadn’t before was because I was helpful. Like good freaking luck with that guys. But when the mutual friend mentioned our wedding - in neutral terms but she’s doing something for it - apparently they acted like they’d be going. So I probably need to figure that whole thing out because they must be smoking crack or something lol. Ignoring / not helping them with things was pretty hard for me at first. Maybe I was a bit of a people pleaser, but not caring what they think about me has helped a lot with that. I just wanted a good childhood for my kids, but I can only control that over here. Sorry if I missed anything, was bored at lunch and thought I’d update. Have a great day! **Relevant Comments** **Commenter 1:** Don’t invite them. They will cause drama. Quit doing stuff for them too. If you have 50/50 custody, good luck with them getting any child support. > **OOP:** I do make quite a bit more than he does so he could be awarded child support. It’s just that those two chose for her to quit working AND I have the kids more than half the time in reality that pisses me off. **Commenter 2:** Why are you telling your kids they are not good siblings because they go upstairs when their brother has a meltdown? There is nothing wrong with that. Definitely don't invite them to the wedding, are you nuts? Did they agree to help you out on your honeymoon? > **OOP:** That’s not what I said. I told them they shouldn’t tell me to come and get them just because they prefer being over here and using it as an excuse. He’s their brother. They did agree to that but I have backup in case they try something while I’m across the world **Commenter 3:** Tell your ex that they are not invited because the relationship is no longer healthy and you will strictly co-parent with him but not have a friendship as it is now toxic. Then continue to ice them out. Mutual friends will understand if they are actually friends. It isn’t healthy for the kids to see this dynamic with their step mom. Don’t ruin your wedding because you think it might be awkward if they don’t get invited > **OOP:** Oh they’re not coming and I have no idea why they think I’d invite them after everything. I might just ignore it. **Commenter 4:** If you haven't already done so, create a document that shows which day you've had the kids and maintain it going forward. If they take you to court, hire an attorney and ask to have the custody officially changed to match the history of overnight visits. Also, ask for reimbursement of expenses that should have been shared (medical bills, extracurricular activities, etc...). Also, ask your lawyer if it would be possible to ask for support for college. In many US states, that's increasingly common. Basically, if you get served and have to go to court, try to get as many things solved at once as possible. Make the lawyer's bills worthwhile. > **OOP:** Girl I have an entire spreadsheet. I’m not hiring a lawyer unless I really have to. > > > > **Commenter 5:** Because he chose not to have his wife work and you make more money than them does not automatically mean that they are going to get child support. You may not want to hire a lawyer, but if that’s something that they pursue, you would be better off spending the money to hire a lawyer, especially if you can prove that you have the children more than 50% of the time and are constantly being called in because they need assistance. Better to consult with a lawyer before you need one and be prepared to go that route if necessary then to just miss the possibility. > >> > >> **OOP:** Her not working wont affect child support, it’s only his income. **Commenter 6:** Just FYI, not hiring a lawyer can definitely cost you a lot more money in the end. Good job with the spreadsheet. > **OOP:** I’m not disagreeing with you, but i have my own reasons for believing that they’ll never get around to actually trying to file for child support. Like neither of them have the executive function if their lives were going well and between a new baby and a pretty severely disabled kid I am pretty confident that I don’t have anything to worry about there. > > If I’m wrong I’ll come back and update so you all can tell me I told you so! **Commenter 7:** Make sure you have a backup plan for your honeymoon because that entitled woman is going to back out of having the kids at the last minute to punish you > **OOP:** I do 😊 we’ll be in Japan and I could see her doing that after all her bs lately, and don’t want to stress about it. **Are OOP's kids in therapy?** > **OOP:** Kids are in therapy. I do allow them to vent to me, I just draw the line at “we would rather be at moms because he annoys us so let’s ask to go to her house”. I’m not going to have kids who grow into teenagers who think they can just stay at whatever house is owned by the parent they are the least mad at ahah.   **DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7** **THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP**

I'm 45 and have watched almost no rated R horror movies before (with a few exceptions, like Silence of the Lambs and Alien/Aliens). For most of my life I've been too afraid to watch horror movies generally, and the idea of R rated level violence and scares have kept me away. This month I decided to change that, and for a Halloween challenge I've watched one horror movie for each day in October (I wasn't exact, some days I missed and others I watched a couple, but for the most part I kept my schedule). I tried to pick culturally significant horror movies. After watching each one, I reviewed and ranked them. I decided to give a one to ten number rating each movie's scare value (S), how disturbing (disgusting or revolting imagery, actions or themes) the movie is (D), and how fun the movie is to watch (F). Lastly, I ranked them in order of my least to most favorite movie overall. I considered overall quality and not necessarily the S, D and F ratings to make my final rankings at the bottom of the post. I'm interested in feedback and would love to see others rank these movies as well! Minor spoilers in the reviews. Oct 1st: Halloween 2018. Solid soundtrack, Jamie Lee Curtis forever! I enjoyed the revenge plot and the cat and mouse play. Entertaining, but a bit ridiculous. I had a great time, but this isn't high minded stuff. I realize now that I probably should have watched the original first. S 3, D 4, F 8. Oct 2nd: The Blair Witch Project. I feel like this was only a hit because it pulled off the hand held faux docu-movie in a way that fooled the public because it was relatively unique at the time. I was bored, and not scared. Maybe it would have been different if I'd watched it in 1999 and thought it was an actual documentary. S 2, D 1, F 1. Oct 3rd: The Witch. Eggers clearly has a style (I've seen The Northman). This was creepy and engaging, and had some real gross and memorable scenes, especially involving children and an infant. I feel like the ending didn't pack as much of a wallop as the build-up seemed to promise, although it still hit well enough with a memorable closing shot. Eggers clearly was going for arthouse horror and succeeded. Also, thank you for bringing us Anya Taylor-Joy. S 6, D 8, F 4. Oct 4th: Nightmare on Elm Street. Eighties camp, here we are. Disco electronica soundtrack, Johnny Depp's massive blood volume, and a memorable but not that scary villain. Didn't age incredibly well, but fun for what it is. S 3, D 4, F 6. Oct 5th: Friday the 13th. This one was kinda dumb. Maybe the sequels are better, since I suppose they have more Jason. But I did get to see Kevin Bacon get an arrow slow-pushed through his cricoid, so there's that. S 2, D 3, F 2. Oct 6th: Hereditary. Jeesh. This is peak disturbing, especially *that* scene, taken together with the characters' upsetting responses. Ari Aster clearly knows how to upset his audience. I wish there was more exposition around the mythology and story in a way that made the movie's plot and ending more immediately accessible. Still, Toni Collette was incredible and this movie seems deserving of its modern horror classic designation. S 9, D 10, F 2. Oct 7th: Midsommar. Two Ari Asters in a row. This time he nails disturbing with crazy memorable images in the opening, middle, and closing sections. I didn't know a movie could be so upsetting without resorting to dark rooms and hallways. Also, Florence Pugh's closing expression, yikes. S 6, D 10, F 5. Oct 8th: Psycho. This is a pretty excellent movie. I've never seen Hitchcock before this month. I recognize why he's one of the greats after watching this. The plot twist is great. The lead up and execution of the famous shower scene is great. The script and acting are great. Bravo. S 6, D 5, F 4. Oct 9th: The Birds. This Hitchcock didn't do it for me. Birds ultimately just aren't that scary. I couldn't buy into the plot device or the romance at the center. But filming all the birds must have been pretty tricky! S 3, D 3, F 2. Oct 10th: The Shining. Peak horror. Nicholson at his best. The story, the style, the imagery, the scares are all spot on and memorable in the best ways. It feels like a work of art. I wish Kubrick had done more straight horror. That said, he could have helped Shelley Duvall with her "scared running" technique a little. S 8, D 6, F 8. Oct 11th: The Exorcist. I've grown up hearing that this is the scariest movie ever. After watching, I get it. That possessed girl is not cool. Ellen Burstyn is fantastic. Some of those scenes are absolutely unforgettable. How was this made in 1973? Deserved its best picture nom. Horrifying. Do not recommend. S 10, D 9, F 3. Oct 12th: Texas Chainsaw Massacre. This is just fine movie making. I can see how this influenced so many horror movies to come. Incredible dinner table scene, and the closing shot is clearly iconic. This movie has aged almost perfectly, with the chase scene being the only exception (could have done with a few less clips of him running after her through the trees). S 5, D 8, F 3. Oct 13th: Rosemary's Baby. So, she was raped by Satan? Ok then. Honestly, this is obviously elite direction, writing, character development and acting. The movie was clearly way ahead of its time for horror. The ending is disturbing and effective. I imagine this movie is even more upsetting to those who've experienced pregnancy, especially as Rosemary is being manipulated by her husband and doctors. I know I can never show this one to my wife. I'm no movie historian, but I understand why this is on a lot of all-time best movie lists. S 3, D 8, F 6. Oct 14th: The Mist. Pretty standard, kinda fun and scary creature flick until that ending. I'm sure the ending has been talked about ad nauseum because it is so impactful and shocking. Let me just say this: it made me feel physically ill. It's burned in my head forever now. I'm not sure I'm happy about it. And isn't that what a good horror is supposed to do? S 5, D 10, F 5. Oct 15th: It (2017). I haven't seen the original, but I thought this movie was really solid. Steven King knows how to weave a yarn. Seems to me this movie is the reason that Stranger Things exists, and it did the "80s kids on bikes who outshine and outsmart the adults" thing as well as it can be done. Real solid scares too, that clown is creep town. Some of the scare set pieces felt a little forced, though. S 8, D 6, F 8. Oct 16th: Get Out. I think the social commentary delivery by this movie is pitch perfect. The plot is well done with an engaging cast, and there are some nice shocking reveals. The movie built suspense well, is perfectly directed, and kept me engaged throughout. This is a solid horror. However, I may have expected more than I got given all the awards and recognition hype. S 6, D 6, F 6. Oct 17th: Paranormal Activity. Really freaked me out for some reason. The nanny cam view capturing spooky stuff at night messing with oblivious people sleeping in their bed captures one of my unreasonable fears by violating my primary safe space, my room. I don't like it. Other than the scare device, though, there's not much to this movie. S 9, D 2, F1. Oct 18th: Nope. Unpopular opinion alert: This is my pick between the two Jordan Peele movies I watched. I love this movie so much. It is riotously funny in parts and pretty atmospheric and frightening in others. I can't take my eyes off of Daniel Kaluuya, he's so intense. I love the juxtaposing stories all driving home the message that non-human intelligent beings (whether chimps, horses, or aliens) don't exist just to be gawked at by a paying human public. They just might get their revenge. What a ride. S 7, D 5, F 9. Oct 19th: It Follows. The best premise to a horror flick I've ever seen or heard of. Of course there should be a movie about a horror STD. And it happens to be expertly executed. The movie managed to get under my skin by exploiting my fear of being followed. It crafts a sense of dread because the bad guy can always be anyone and it never stops walking toward you unless you have sex to pass the scourge onto someone you might really care about. Talk about moral dilemmas. If any horror movie deserves a sequel, it's this one. C'mon David Robert Mitchell, give us "It Still Follows," we would all watch it. S 8, D 7, F 6. Oct 20th: Talk To Me. From the jump, this flick knows how to shock and build suspense. It has a couple of pretty memorable frightening moments and manages to stay creepy, with a solid ending. I'm learning that people getting possessed is a really scary thing for me to watch, and this movie has that in spades. This is a lesser known horror gem IMO. S 9, D 8, F 3. Oct 21st: Scream. The opening was destined to become a classic moment in horror. This is meant to be a fun self-aware movie, with clever horror genre references throughout and a twist for the reveal. And lots and lots of stabbing. I definitely had a good time. Not very scary though. S 3, D 3, F 8. Oct 22nd: The Thing. Yes! Inject this into my veins. Would make a perfect double feature with Alien. Everything was just right: Kurt Russell's paranoia, John Carpenter's direction, Rob Bottin's creature work, the suspicion created by the genius plot device, the chill-to-the-bone setting, and the perfectly ambiguous ending. I love this movie. S 6, D 8, F 10. Oct 23rd: Saw. This is where the Escape Rooms trend came from? My kids thank you, Saw. This was a fun ride with a clever ending. Also, why don't people with one leg ever stand and hop in the movies? Dragging themselves around smh. S 6, D 7, F 8. Oct 24th: Barbarian. What the? I honestly didn't find it terribly scary, but it's high on the disturbing scale. Props working in a "me too" theme. The kill at the end was definitely a gruesome shocker. But c'mon, that last set piece defies physics in too many ways to give it a pass. S 4, D 8, F 2. Oct 25th: Pearl. Mia Goth's acting deserves a shout out for that closing credits clip alone. Not sure about the southern girl accent despite her being raised in relative isolation by her German speaking mother. It feels a bit over the line manipulative, although I suppose that is partly the point, to feel ridiculously, sarcastically manipulated - but not fooled - by Pearl. Such an interesting movie. Lots of buildup to a pretty upsetting conclusion. I admire the risks it takes and the artistry it shows. Felt like pre-tornado Wizard of Oz with a Return to Oz below-the-surface creepiness. S 4, D 8, F 5. Oct 26th: Sinister. I read a study that tried to scientifically prove which horror movie is the scariest based on the heart rate increase of the audience. Sinister was officially named by the study authors as the Most Scary Movie. So I watched it. And, yes, it's pretty high up on the list for me. The soundtrack is pulsating, the family snuff videos awful, and the darkness prevalent. The movie is almost all in the dark. Ethan Hawke is always excellent. The end reveal is mostly predictable, but this movie definitely delivers the scares. Edit: This movie ended up freaking me out so bad I had trouble sleeping and had to watch some SNL at 1am to settle down. S 10, D 7, F 2. Oct 27th: Hellraiser (1987). It tried to be an interesting "how far would you go to get what you most want" movie, which is more theme than most of the other 80's horror I watched this month. Most of the runtime I was thinking "dang, the makeup and creature effects are really good for '87" and then the special effects at the end made me want to take it all back. Overall pretty disturbing and gruesome, and fairly well done without being very scary. But the ending was a dud in almost every way. S 3, D 8, F 3. Oct 28th: Candyman (1992). I went in with low expectations after being burned by Hellraiser, and the movie beat them comfortably. I thought it was really solid. I loved the soundtrack, the villain was memorable, and the plot was tightly wound and appropriately suspenseful. It even mostly stuck the landing. S 6, D 6, F 7. Oct 29th: The Descent. I saw this one mentioned a lot so I gave it a go and I'm glad I did. It's like A Quiet Place but dialed up to 11 with its pitch black cave setting, claustrophobia, and bloody violent (and quite upsetting) kills. The action in this movie is breathtaking in spots. A plot choice made at the end really upset me, which makes the film all the more memorable. S 9, D 7, F 6. Oct 30th: The Wicker Man (1973). Not sure what I was expecting with this one, but it wasn't the cross between a hyper-sexualized The Sound of Music and Midsommar that I got. Overall a bit slow and unscary but turns the corner in the last 20 minutes with an incredibly impactful ending that really delves into questions of the ethics of religious piety and perspective. And it was super cool to watch a Christopher Lee masterclass from his younger days. S 1, D6, F2. Oct 31st (watched it yesterday): The Evil Dead (1981). Oh wow. Ok. Well, Sam Raimi certainly did some stuff here! Nice use of fog and camera perspective work, and the creature makeup is crazy. This movie has some hilariously messed up images and kills. I didn't know whether to laugh or freak out or throw up through most of it. And the gore. Oh, the gore. It was often hard to distinguish whether it's high camp or high art, and maybe it's both. This movie obviously birthed a lot of horror tropes. I can't believe what I just watched. And I can't believe I almost didn't watch it, being the last film on the list. S 7, D 10, F 7. Overall Rankings: 31: Friday the 13th 30: The Blair Witch Project 29: The Birds 28: Nightmare on Elm Street 27: Hellraiser 26: Paranormal Activity 25: Barbarian 24: Halloween (2018) 23: Scream 22: The Wicker Man (1973) 21: The Mist 20: It (2017) 19: The Witch 18: Sinister 17: Pearl 16: Saw 15: Candyman (1992) 14: Talk to Me 13: Midsommar 12: Get Out 11: The Evil Dead (1981) 10: Hereditary 9: Psycho 8: The Descent 7: The Exorcist 6: Texas Chainsaw Massacre 5: It Follows 4: Nope 3: Rosemary's Baby 2: The Thing 1: The Shining What did I get right or wrong? What horror classics did I miss? Give me your rankings! Also, as a new fan of horror, tell me what I need to watch next!

**Artist**: Kendrick Lamar **Album**: GNX **Release Date**: November 22nd, 2024 **Listen** Youtube Spotify [Apple Music](https://music.apple.com/us/album/gnx/1781270319) **Artist Background**: Where do I even begin? Hailing from Compton, California—a city synonymous with both the storied history of Hip-Hop as well as the raw realities of systemic inequality—Kendrick Lamar has risen to the pantheon of Rap royalty despite the well-documented obstacles of his upbringing. After a fateful encounter (helped by a bucket of KFC) with Anthony “Top Dawg” Tiffith, his career began to take off. He signed to Top’s label, TDE, and they essentially became like a second family. He dropped a handful of mixtapes throughout the 2000s, sharpening his pen while discovering his purpose as an artist. He really wore his influences on his sleeve with his earlier sounds, often paying homage to GOATs like Lil Wayne and Eminem (even dropping a full-on reimagining of Tha Carter III with his C4 tape). He eventually dropped the [K.Dot](http://K.Dot) moniker and began going by Kendrick Lamar, signaling a shift in focus along his artistic path. In yet another moment of fate, he attracted the attention of fellow Compton legend Dr. Dre with breakout projects Overly Dedicated and Section.80. In 2011, Dre, alongside other West Coast legends like Snoop Dogg and The Game, passed Kendrick the torch on stage, solidifying him as the heir to the West Coast throne. After signing to Aftermath Entertainment, he released his major-label debut studio album good kid, m.A.A.d city, and he’s been the standard of the genre ever since. Those who closely followed Kendrick’s career always knew this moment of undisputed coronation was inevitable—the apex of a career filled with countless seismic, landscape-shifting moments. The question was: had it already happened? GKMC was a cinematic masterpiece, a fully realized narrative of one’s come-up. The "Control" verse sent shockwaves through the game unlike any other moment in the 2010s. To Pimp a Butterfly is regarded by many as the greatest hip-hop album of all time(!). He then reached a new commercial peak and won a damn Pulitzer Prize (cringe pun intended). He performed at the Super Bowl. He dropped another controversial yet critically acclaimed album, emerging on the other side as someone who rejected the lofty expectations and chose himself. He followed that up with the then-highest-grossing hip-hop tour of all time. Each moment felt grander than the last, but he had yet to put a complete end to the debate over who the king of the era was. Seriously, then, how could he follow that act in 2024? Well, with one of the most dominant years an artist could ever have. Kendrick’s greatest gift has always been how he seamlessly blends conscious themes with sonic appeal. He has such an intricate approach to songwriting, weaving vivid storytelling with unflinching examinations of identity, faith, and community. He had long broken through the mainstream barrier while still maintaining authenticity. Somehow, though, as we push into 2025, he’s dominated the zeitgeist like never before. That "Control" verse that shook up the 2010s? His "Like That" feature said “hold my beer” and instantly became the most impactful verse of the 2020s thus far. The rap game stood still once again. For over a decade, he’s been placed in the Big 3 conversation with Drake and J. Cole. Fans have argued one’s superiority over the others like it’s the NBA GOAT debate. Hip-Hop at its core is a competitive space, but rarely do mainstream rappers step into the metaphorical boxing ring to determine who the undisputed champion is. Those types of lyrical clashes are usually reserved for the underground/battle culture. So when two titans of the industry finally put the subliminals aside to duke it out, we were all seated. We had seen Biggie vs. Pac and Nas vs. Hov, but Kendrick vs. Drake felt different. As notable as those beefs were, rap was still considered somewhat niche. If you weren’t outside, then you weren’t really tapped in. And while Hip-Hop has since become the most popular genre in music, this beef was the first time it had the world’s undivided attention. Everything was on the line. For Kendrick, it was his chance to take the commercial iron throne while simultaneously eradicating what he saw as cultural impurity. He meticulously broke Drake down, always being one step ahead. Whether through the predictive flows of “Euphoria,” the God-fearing pleading of “6:16 in LA,” the brutal psychoanalysis of “Meet the Grahams” (over haunting production by The Alchemist), or the triumphant West Coast victory lap that was “Not Like Us,” Kendrick delivered one of the most memorable stretches in the history of rap. Rumors of an album were rampant the entire time, forcing us to replay the Squabble Up snippet from the NLU music video all summer while we waited impatiently. He further teased us in September (as the VMAs were airing) with another warning shot at the industry, "Watch the Party Die". Then, at noon on a Friday in November, he surprise-dropped the latest addition to his illustrious discography with GNX. When he said he was choosing himself, it felt like he was finally definitively rebuking the savior complex. Now, he’s unapologetically embraced it—a role he no longer sees as a burdensome obligation, but as a privilege. GNX is Dot at his most comfortable. He’s done playing by the rules. Album Review by u/OhioKing_Z **wacced out murals** Man, the hype I had when spinning this for the first time… Every Kendrick album feels like a roller coaster of emotion. I was buckled in, ready to experience the ride. The album starts off with “wacced out murals”, a reference to an incident months prior where a Compton mural of his was defaced. The song begins with vocals from Mexican singer Deyra Barrera, who makes recurring appearances across the album. It immediately immerses the listener into the soundscape. The production is starkly minimalistic, allowing Kendrick to take over and speak his mind. He starts off not so much rapping but talking, almost like spoken word. It feels like a confession. He makes it clear that he’s fine being the odd man out because God has his back either way. He’s become accustomed to a life of fame, where love and hate persist no matter what he does. That duality is just the reality for someone who chooses to be vulnerable and thought-provoking despite always being scrutinized under society’s ever-watchful microscope. “Ridin’ in my GNX with Anita Baker in the tape deck, it’s gon’ be a sweet love” sets the scene perfectly. Then shit gets real: “Used to bump Tha Carter III, I held my Rollie chain proud/Irony, I think my hard work let Lil Wayne down.” He finally addressed the elephant in the room. Likely a reference to J. Cole’s Let Nas Down, there’s an undertone that he’s disappointed in Wayne for not being proud of him for such an achievement—becoming the first solo rapper act to perform at the Super Bowl. It’s not hard to see why Wayne felt slighted. He and Hov have had tension in the past, and New Orleans is Wayne’s domain. Still, Kendrick idolizes Wayne. As I mentioned before, he even went as far as dropping a Carter-series-inspired mixtape. The same goes with Snoop and the “Taylor Made” posts. If both his peers and his idols were seemingly discrediting him (sans Nas, which is ironic given the Let Nas Down connection), then is there any loyalty within the industry? That realization is only fueling Kendrick’s desire to be on top. He’s in his unapologetic era. It makes it easier to crush the competition when you’re disgusted with their antics—antics like bribing someone’s hood for dirt. That disgust has allowed him to free himself from the burden of always needing to be politically correct. He’s tired of the fake smiles and lying through one’s teeth. He references his album teaser “watch the party die” once again, showing his commitment to ushering in a new era for the culture. He ends the song by mentioning that haters can whack out his murals, but the concept of a legend in hip-hop would die if his own legend did. It’s an emphatic closing statement after spending most of the track ripping his contemporaries. **Squabble Up** The song that follows is what we had waited months for: the West Coast party anthem “Squabble Up.” Sticking with the triumphant G-Funk-inspired production, Kendrick brings a nasty energy to this one. It just radiates a hyphy spirit. Hyphy is a subgenre of Hip-Hop that originates in the Compton/Bay area. Similar to Crunk, Hyphy is known for its vivacious, wild sounds. Lil B, YG, Tyga, and B.o.B were some other rappers that helped modernize the sound. Kendrick teases the album's overarching narrative about reincarnation by starting the track off with "God knows. I am.. Reincarnated, I was stargazin'". The theme of the track is obviously about his willingness to fight if need be. He references the beef with the “wolf tickets” and “he got kids with him” lines. The track exudes a tone of well-earned arrogance. He is a Gemini, after all. He’s not being humble by any means. He questions why other rappers even rap, accusing them of being dishonest with the personas they put forth. He also pokes some fun at all the people who constantly beg him for new music. One unfair narrative about Kendrick was that he struggled to make club bangers that could appeal to wider audiences—a challenge he seems to have happily accepted with this album. This track is just one of many victory laps and it definitely lived up to the hype! **Luther** “Luther” is yet another fantastic addition to a growing list of collaborations between Kendrick and SZA. The former labelmates have flawless chemistry on every track they make together. Sampling “If This World Were Mine” by Luther Vandross and Marvin Gaye, it was Jack Antonoff, Sounwave, and Kamasi Washington who made for an Avengers-level production team. The soundscape is just so luscious. The string sections weave in and out liberally, meshing well with the hi-hats. Kendrick takes a more subtle approach lyrically but still maintains his usual sharpness. He talks about enabling the dreams of his lover and protecting her against her enemies. In one line, he croons "Roman numeral seven, babe, drop it like its hot", which might be referring to a plan to drop an upcoming seventh studio album as well (GNX being his sixth). It could also be a reference to Romans 7, a poignant bible verse about Paul's disconnect between his best intentions to do good and the sinful nature of his flesh. That constant internal struggle led to Paul realizing that it is not him that has sinned, but the man that he used to be before he found faith. This metaphor for personal and spiritual reincarnation, whether intentional by Kendrick or not, perfectly plays into the theme here. The only word that comes to mind for SZA’s voice is “angelic.” She effortlessly elevates every song she hops on. Taking the perspective of the woman Kendrick is in love with, she instantly references Tupac’s poem “The Rose That Grew From Concrete.” She says that she’s only doing what she’s been raised to do, living a regretful, unfulfilling lifestyle on the weekends. Kendrick and SZA’s harmonizing on both the chorus and third verse were such great touches. Small details like that take love ballads to the next level. They begin to plead with each other, saying that they’ll do whatever it takes to make things work. “If this world were mine”… a thought we all ponder from time to time. Beautiful sonically, well-written, and well-performed. One of the best duets of 2024. Just make the collab tape already! **Man at the Garden** “Man at the Garden” is a clear ode to “One Mic” by Nas. Kendrick even delivers lines with a similar cadence. “I deserve it all,” he repeats. This line encompasses the motivation behind the track. Kendrick is taking the time to be self-reflective but not self-critical, as he often can be. His tone at the start of the song is stoic. Part of his growth and transformation as a person during the Mr. Morale era centered around self-love and forgiveness. He continues these themes in this album, accepting himself for who he is—strengths and flaws in all. He’s finally realized that he’s allowed to reap the fruits of his labor without feeling guilty about it. Rather than question his intentions or imperfections, he gives himself grace. The title of the track also reminds me of an excerpt from a famously stoic speech by Theodore Roosevelt called “The Man in the Arena.” It’s often referenced in sports. LeBron James always writes part of the quote on his game shoes. Roosevelt talks about always doing your best despite obstacles, accepting failure, not being defined by external validation or criticism, and being mindful of how you spend your time pursuing virtuous goals. All of these are things Kendrick addresses and attempts to live by in this song. I’m not sure if it was an intentional parallel, but it’s an interesting connection nonetheless. He spends the first two verses focusing on the self, on “I.” He talks about wanting external validation and not judging others for their shortcomings. Both the instrumental and his voice start to crescendo during the third verse, as if he’s dropping the stoic act due to his bottled-up passion boiling to the surface. He shifts focus to his real priorities: a longing for a sense of community. He wants his family to be happy and healthy, a closer relationship with God, and peace of mind away from selfish individuals. He admits that staying in a negative space absent of those things brings out the fire in him, threatening to crash out and take everything down with him if he isn’t rewarded—because he feels like he’s the greatest of all time. **Hey Now** The album then transitions from the climactic outro of “Man At The Garden” to the simplistic “Hey Now.” This track was a grower for me. I initially didn’t love the long buildup over the first half, but that quickly went away after a few listens. The first half does a great job of building suspense and anticipation over HARD-hitting drums. The instrumentation then evolves as Kendrick interpolates Fabo’s famous line about seeing spaceships on Bankhead, replacing the location with Rosencrans instead. He says that he sees the aliens holding hands and that they want him to dance. That sequence absolutely feels cosmic, lyrics aside. I feel like I’m Coop from Interstellar, slowly drifting in space when I hear it. This bar could be a metaphor for how Black culture has dominated a place like LA. Yet, as wealthy as he is, he’s still seen as a performer. He continues to reference his resounding victory in the beef, saying that he strangled himself a GOAT. You can also notice the thematic pattern when he again brings up the pressures of fame and the importance of inner peace—things that are central to every Kendrick project, to be fair. Dody6 then comes in with a crazy verse. I had never heard of him until this song, to be honest. “Who the fuck I feel like? I feel like Joker/Harley Quinn, I'm in the cut with a blower.” What?? That’s one of my most quoted lyrics of the entire album, dawg. So fire. An underrated aspect of Kendrick’s pen has always been his witty humor. “If they talkin' 'bout playin' ball, they can take it up with Jordan” cracks me up every time. Kendrick has more than proven that he can mess around and make a silly/catchy banger while also keeping it lyrically dense enough to still allow us to interpret his feelings regarding his life circumstances. He maintains that level of transparency regardless of what sub-genre he’s dabbling in—a tough balance for any artist. **Reincarnated** “Reincarnated” is the climax of the album, and rightfully so. It’s arguably one of his most well-written songs. Backed by Pac’s “Made N\*\*\*az” sample, Kendrick paid homage to his biggest muse while also having it serve as a symbolic middle finger to Drake for using an AI Pac on “Taylor Made Freestyle.” He imitates Pac’s brash delivery, figuratively and vocally transforming into the fallen West Coast legend. Kendrick uses the first two verses to highlight both his internal battle with spirituality as well as the cycle of generational trauma that has been passed down in Black culture. He starts the first verse off by saying he has a fire burning in him, that he’s shedding skin, as if he has a newly found hunger inside of him, shedding his old personality and stepping into his new self. This could also be a double entendre. He mentions a third of himself being demented, likely referring to the Holy Spirit. Also, between the “fire burnin’ internally” and the “cynicism towards judgment day” lines, he’s likely talking from the perspective of a fallen angel like Lucifer (also evidenced by later verses). He brings up how he tried Past Life Regression (PLR) last year, which is a hypnotherapy technique that helps one attempt to access former memories of previous lives. This experience was profound for Kendrick and leads to how he developed the idea for the song. There’s been some debate on who he “reincarnated” as specifically, like John Lee Hooker or Billie Holiday, but I’ll just assume that he was telling a story for the sake of the narrative. He highlights the man’s shortcomings by blaming gluttony for his selfish decision-making, something that ultimately led to him succumbing to the lifestyle. The second verse focuses on Black women in the industry during the segregation era. Many fell into the escapism of addiction to deal with the pressures of fame in the face of blatant racism and discrimination. He brings up their relationships with their fathers, which plays into the spiritual element of the song. He’s saying that these people strayed away from God to chase hedonistic temptations and became fallen angels as a result. The third verse is where he gives us the point of view of “himself” in present day. He repeats many of the positive affirmations that we’ve heard throughout the album thus far, like how he’s maintained integrity and respect for the art form. He again brings up his father kicking him out of the house. There are multiple interpretations here. Kendrick’s daddy issues were a notable part of Mr. Morale & The Big Steppers. He’s also speaking as a son of God that has struggled with his faith. As mentioned before, Lucifer was kicked out of heaven by God as well; but Kendrick wants to redeem himself in the eyes of the Lord. He begins to not just pray but to plead. He mentions how he’s walked a righteous path by speaking freely for his people, not giving in to fleshly desires despite becoming wealthy, and preventing vultures from preying on his community. God informs him that he hasn’t completely healed from his past trauma, which has tainted how he lends his heart. He’s still prideful, something he’s always viewed as being his likely cause of death (“Pride’s gonna be the death of me”). He goes on to list specific things he’s done to try and promote peace and prosperity, but God calls him out on his hypocrisy, saying that Kendrick still loves to engage in war and conflict. He reminds Kendrick that everybody faces the same internal strife and that Kendrick can’t expect his opposition to forgive him if he can’t find it in his heart to forgive them as well. God mentions Isaiah 14, a passage that refers to a former king of Babylon that fell due to his pride and ego. The fallen star symbolism derives from this, often in reference to Lucifer. The verse transitions into a full-on conversation between God and Satan. God calls Satan his greatest musical director, in reference to Ezekiel 28 (more scripture dedicated to the fall of a prideful king). The scripture also mentions many different gemstone colors, as Kendrick does, which could represent the many different gang colors that Kendrick grew up around. Ezekiel 28:16-17 says that God cast the king down from his mountain because the abundance of the king’s rule filled the king with violence. Unlike with Satan, God wants Kendrick to be rehabilitated. The only thing that can restore his grace is to be humiliated in front of the other earthly kings because Kendrick feels like the fruitfulness of his career has enabled his violent nature. Every past life was a litmus test for moral progress, yet he/they always fell to their vices. I believe this track also serves as a meta-commentary for how the industry has profited off of Black plight for centuries now. We know that hip-hop industry elites have been incentivized to both perpetuate stereotypical norms and promote harmful and rebellious behavior to further oppress Black Americans into the depths of the second class. We also know that Black Americans have used music to speak their truth since the early field hollerer days of rhythm and blues. Whether or not the damaging substance of some mainstream rap derives from the motives of a satanic entity that influences a group of suits is irrelevant to the point he’s ultimately making. He wants Black artists to give up “garnishing evilish views” in order to truly thrive, both in this life and the next. He believes a closer bond with God, alongside the extermination of culture vultures, is the ideal path to get there. He promises to God that he’ll use his gift to help spark positive change. He’s done using fear as a tool to empower his community, instead using his words to capture light and inspiration with the goal of bringing about understanding. He is rewriting the devil’s story by stripping away the past sinful characteristics of Black music, spreading peace and harmony instead. **TV Off** Here we go. TV Off. Another certified west coast banger from Dot and Mustard. If the beef was a championship game, this is the song that plays over and over at the victory parade. It’s so anthemic. “All I ever wanted was a black grand national / Fuck being rational, give ‘em what they ask for.” He’s not fucking around from the jump. Kendrick hasn’t been this hungry in years. “This ain’t a song, this a revelation” plays well into the sequencing of the tracklist after “Reincarnated.” Not only is it a tonal switch to a more lighthearted soundscape, but it shows us that his pride always re-emerges despite his best efforts. He concluded a biblical arc by rewriting the devil’s story, yet there’s still an apocalypse coming. Now that he’s been down on Earth, he can send his enemies up to heaven. “Turn his TV off” on its surface is obviously a silly way of saying he’ll off his enemies, but I think it’s also likely a direct reference to Gil Scott-Heron’s “The Revolution Will Not Be Televised” (something he mentions later in the song), which was a satirical poem about black liberation. The message behind that poem was that meaningful societal change won’t be covered by mainstream media. You’ll have to observe it for yourself, on the ground. He doesn’t think there’s enough awareness of this fact, causing him to question if his initiative to empower other artists is ultimately futile (“it’s not enough”). He again seemingly embraces the savior complex, this time with a more obligatory tone when he says that “someone’s gotta do it.” Compare this to his attitude on “Mirror” when he apologizes for not saving the world because he was too busy with his own personal growth. His perceived need to “kill off” people like Drake has reinvigorated his willingness to do so. Now for the beat switch... The trumpets... The boogeyman ad libs... Oh my God. How many of us have randomly yelled or thought “MUSTARDDDDDDD” since this dropped? He can’t come up with funny one-liners, they said. The third verse is just straight-up flexing. “Tryna show n\*\*\*as the ropes before they hung from a rope” is a crazy bar that encapsulates his role as a mentor to the younger generation. As he’s mentioned, he wants to break the cycle of sin for his community and warns that if they don’t take his advice, their fate will be the same as many African-Americans of the past. He ends the verse by proclaiming that LA culture is about to come in and dominate the stage at the Super Bowl. The way he delivers the last line, with the emphasis on his “E’s,” really demonstrates the vocal subtleties that make his music so infectious. And speaking of fire delivery, Lefty Gunplay comes in for a brief but menacing outro. “Shit get crazy, scary, spooky, hilarious”... Everything about this song is so good. Seeing it performed live with a marching band will be just glorious. **Dodger Blue** Kendrick switches up the vibe with “Dodger Blue,” a melodic tune featuring prominent west coast vocalists like Roddy Ricch and Wallie the Sensei. The production is vibrant and spacey. It’s a true ode to LA culture. Kendrick is testing one’s LA street cred by asking what school they went to. He says that you can’t really judge LA for what it is if you don’t go further south, where the true heart of the culture resides (unlike the Hollywood/Beverly Hills north of the Santa Monica Freeway, aka “the 10”). Honestly, the song makes me feel like I’m cruising through LA traffic. Jack Antonoff and Sounwave understood the assignment. The chorus could be a bit longer. I wish Roddy had more of a presence on the track, as his voice effortlessly blends with the instrumentation in particular, but every feature artist does well given the constraints. “Walk, walk, walk, walk” is a crip walk reference. The outro is a message to other rappers and culture vultures, claiming that none of this is personal. Try telling Drake that! This song is laid-back and vibey, yet the writing makes it clear that Kendrick is far from relaxed. It serves as a warning: stay on that side of the street and respect LA, or else... **Peekaboo** I haven’t stopped listening to Peekaboo since the album dropped. I’ve seen some say that it’s a grower, but I was obsessed with it off first listen. A clear play on Kendrick’s boogeyman persona, it starts off with a distorted sample of Little Beaver’s “Give Me a Helping Hand.” Then the bass comes thumping in out of nowhere. The start of the song is unconventional, chaotic, yet immersive. Even with all the lively bangers he’s given us this year, Kendrick certainly hasn’t entirely neglected his preference for darker, heavier beats. “What they talkin’ ‘bout? They talkin’ ‘bout nothing” is reminiscent of Lacrae’s chorus on “Nuthin.” Likely not a coincidence, given his relationship with Lacrae (he notably referenced Lacrae on “Watch the Party Die”). His vocals are tight and dynamic, the heavily pronounced “P’s” bouncing off the bassline like they’re jumping on a trampoline. AzChike takes the baton and doesn’t miss a beat. The eerie production really brings out his South Central dialect. “Heard what happened to ya mans, not sorry for ya loss” is hard as fuck. Kendrick keeps with the silly flows during his second verse. Bing-Bop-Boom-Boom-Bop-Bam is hilarious. It’s still hard, though, I can’t lie. This guy is letting us know that he’s going to rap however he pleases at this point. Those are also punching sound effects, indicating that he’s always ready to throw hands if need be. He says that people wouldn’t understand the type of skits he’s on. “Skit” is Cali slang for robberies and shootings. Kendrick is saying that he’s above all the social media influencers in LA that chase clout through viral videos. He’s had to go through the hardships of the streets. Now he’s playing with the big dogs and refusing to hold anyone’s hand (a callback to the sample). **Heart pt. 6** We all wondered if he’d completely ignore Drake’s weak troll attempt and drop his own part 6 of The Heart series. Not only did he do that, but he chose to dedicate it to his love and gratitude for his TDE family. He didn’t reference Drake’s version or the beef in general once. Instead, he reclaimed the series for himself in a way that only he could. Kendrick has always used The Heart series to give us a snapshot into his life and state of mind at the time, offering a raw look into his conflicted psyche. Much had been made about his departure from TDE in order to pursue building his own label in PgLang. There were also rumors that Kendrick and Top weren’t seeing eye to eye. So it’s fitting that he’d sample SWV’s “Use Your Heart” to speak from his heart. Kendrick acts as a director, painting a distinct visual to start the first verse. “Load up the Protools and press three.” I visualize it like it’s an opening shot for a film. Like we’ve been transported to an old studio session, just chilling on the couch watching greatness unfold in front of us. Kendrick is reminiscing on the hunger he felt before making it. It’s easy to forget that he was just another up-and-coming rapper back then. As much potential as he showed, he was still finding his sound and hadn’t yet emerged as the clear MVP of the label. He was still coming off the bench and honing his talent, like Kobe did to start his NBA career. Similarly to how Kendrick talked about wanting to be like Aaron Afflalo, he talks about learning from Ab-Soul’s approach to lyricism. He was still studying the greats and forming his own sense of originality. He was going to label meetings with the sole intention of helping Jay Rock blow up. He knew that their success was tethered, and that any opportunity given to one would be an opportunity for all. He looks back on the days freestyling in the passenger seat of his best friend Dave Free’s Acura. He gives Dave his flowers for working as a jack of all trades, whether it be a producer, manager, or DJ. This genuine display of affection is notable, given that Drake tried to drive a wedge in their friendship with the allegations of infidelity with Whitney. He tells the stories of meeting Schoolboy Q and how Q learned how to rap just from spending time around the TDE family. He mentions how Q believed in him from day one. He shouts out Top for providing them with resources due to that faith in their talent and work ethic. He starts the third verse off with one of the most well-written bars on the entire album when he says that Punch has always acted as a coach and mentor to him, akin to how Phil Jackson was with MJ and Kobe. Kendrick then reveals that he feels like it’s his fault for why the Black Hippy group fell apart. He admits that his growing artistic vision for his career prevented him from fully aligning with the group dynamic. He moved on creatively and didn’t want to force anything due to a sense of obligation to fans or even the other group members. Surely, his solo career arc wasn’t the only factor in why we never got a full-length project from them, but Kendrick still accepts the responsibility as the face of the TDE movement. It’s also another display of humility and growth for a man that has struggled with the concept of pride. Still, he acknowledges that he’s given his fair share to the label and that he’s earned the right to selfishly pursue his goals of being a mogul in black entertainment. He again acts as a mentor to end the song, advising the often hardheaded younger generations to conduct differences with healthy conversation, despite society often encouraging them to let even inconsequential problems go unaddressed. He says that they can’t allow personal conflicts to linger until they can no longer fix them, and simply having a heart-to-heart with the other person can avoid that pain and regret altogether. **GNX** Next we have the titular track, “GNX.” I’m so glad that this song was included. There was a narrative that Kendrick using his platform to shine a spotlight on other west coast artists was all performative. Sure, he’d give them a song on stage at the Pop Out, but would he actually put them on an album and give them the biggest “Kendrick stimmy” that he could? He did exactly that. I saw that Hitta J3 bought himself a Rolls Royce just off the first week of streaming royalties. If that’s not real exposure, then I’m not sure what is. Kendrick provides the hook and a few ad-libs, but he gives his feature artists the space they need to shine. Do I love any of these rapping performances? Not exactly. The contemporary west coast production is fire, but doesn’t really stand out. It wasn’t made for me, though. Everyone from LA loves it for a reason. I’d imagine it’s perfect for riding around south LA in a Buick with the homies. There are a ton of witty punchlines from YoungThreat, too. “I’m with a rockstar bitch, they want Lizzie McGuire” and “get on my Bob the Builder shit, get down with the pliers.” They’re not taking themselves too seriously. 2024 was the year of the West Coast, a year of celebration. This track falls in line with that and was a necessary inclusion to the tracklist for that reason. **Gloria** I always get especially excited for the outro of a new Kendrick album. Duckworth, Mortal Man, and Mirror are three of my favorite tracks by him, so my expectations were high. Boy, he didn’t disappoint. Kendrick’s ability to craft a multi-layered track that can have multiple interpretations never fails to blow my mind. The track’s title, “Gloria” (Spanish for “glory”), symbolizes the divine purpose Kendrick sees in his art. The track begins with Deyra Barrera making another appearance. “Sentado, Anita y tú” translates to “Seated, Anita and you,” a callback to the Anita Baker reference on the intro track, “wacced out murals.” A sweet, melancholic guitar riff sets the vibe. There’s definitely a “lovey-dovey” aspect to the instrumentation. Kendrick starts his verse by saying that he and his bitch have a complicated relationship. He talks about meeting her as a teenager, saying that his other friends claimed they wanted her but didn’t have the discipline needed to earn her hand. At this point, the listener is supposed to assume that he’s talking about Whitney. He brings up a pivotal moment of growth within the relationship, citing how she was there for him during his granny’s death and that they’ve been committed to each other ever since. That experience taught him how to use rap as his primary outlet, transforming his pain into creative energy. Now, he’s got the formula down. He again enlists the help of R&B Queen, SZA, as she sings from the perspective of his pen. She, as his pen, offers a soulful reflection of a bond’s permanence, reiterating her undying loyalty to him. Not only is this a song about his relationship with his pen, but it’s also a conceit about how he expresses himself through his art and his career arc overall. Kendrick has always taken a meticulous approach to his creative writing process, so it’s no surprise that he delivers a song with this much lyrical depth that’s quite literally a love letter toward his ability to do so. He starts the second verse by saying that she threatened to leave him for more committed individuals. He couldn’t be strapped up outside of the gas station if he wanted to be serious with her. There had been times when she felt he would fabricate his stories so she would block him (he’s mentioned facing writer’s block during the pandemic). He mentions how she even accompanied him on his famous spiritual awakening trip to Africa in 2014 (a key source of inspiration for TPAB). They’ve clearly gone through their ups and downs, but he acknowledges that having her as both his most loyal companion and harshest critic has truly been to his benefit because it’s forced him to reflect and mature. His pen (still SZA) pushes back, bemoaning him for not recognizing how much she’s given him: power, charisma, blessings, his hustle. She provided it all. He then gives in, falling back in love with her the moment that they touch again. He admits he’s sensitive and possessive over her. He knows that she hates when he hits the club to get some bitches (dumbing it down for commercial success) and would rather he speak more introspectively about his spirituality and religious beliefs. “‘Member when you caught that body and still wiggled through that sentence?” Such a clever pun about avoiding any negative consequences after emerging victorious from the beef. He points out that she has the power to both heal and kill (something he also states on his underrated feature on Isaiah Rashad’s “Wat’s Wrong”). He then ends the track by finally revealing that he’s talking about his pen, using some writing-related wordplay about her being his right hand and how no one can erase their history. **Conclusion**: Coming off the heels of winning the biggest clash in Hip-Hop that we’d ever seen, we all wondered what Kendrick would do next. He had finally reached that next level of commercial success, cultivating an even larger fanbase than ever before. He had babies, politicians, and grannies dancing along and chanting the lyrics to “Not Like Us.” Critics had long argued that Kendrick struggled with making digestible music, but GNX is his most accessible work yet. The tracklist has everything you could want from him: braggadocious, triumphant anthems, moments of introspection, and moments of intimacy. It sees Kendrick soberly confronting his demons while simultaneously claiming victory over them in way that he previously hadn't. By the end of Mr. Morale, he had accepted his flaws as a man, believing that his inner conflict and existential dread could be contained. He reaches a heightened sense of clarity with this project. Kendrick has consistently woven spirituality, identity, and societal critique into his music, and GNX is no different. His natural ability to juxtapose vulnerability with assertive confidence resonates throughout this album. The references to scripture, Lucifer’s fall, and unresolved generational trauma all make for a grand tale of redemption and self-reckoning allegory. I really enjoyed finding thematic ties between tracks, like “Man at the Garden” channeling Roosevelt’s stoic ideals or “Luther” repurposing a classic soul record. I’ve always appreciated how much Kendrick studied the game, a student of Hip-Hop. He knows who paved the way for artists like himself and always prioritizes deepening the connection between the past and present. Soul, Jazz, Blues, Funk, etc. You name it. There are even Mariachi influences, proverbially saluting the impact of hispanic culture on LA. I’m not sure there’s a rapper with a more eclectic, avant-garde approach to song-making other than perhaps Kanye. He continuously challenges not only himself but also the audience to think critically about their roles within both culture and society. For him to pull that off on such a massive scale during the beef is the type of unprecedented achievement that only further solidifies that he’s the greatest rapper of all time, in my opinion. Kendrick had largely rejected the savior complex due to his frustrations with the culture’s resistance to any substantial change, but that was when he felt like he still had to play within the confines of the rules. He was hesitant to try and assert his dominance if it was rigged against him. He’s determined to blaze his own trail now, embracing a leadership role within the culture once again. Onto the Super Bowl! **Favorite Lyrics**: * ‘”’Member when you caught that body and still wiggled through that sentence?” * “Punch played Phil Jackson in my early practices, strategies on how to be great amongst the averages/ I picked his brain on what was ordained, highly collaborative” * “Tell me why you think you deserve the greatest of all time, motherfucker” **Discussion Questions**: * Do you think Kendrick’s message here—especially about rejecting negative industry norms and pursuing collective upliftment—will resonate widely, or will it be lost on a mainstream audience more focused on the beef or bangers? * Where does GNX rank in Kendrick’s discography? * What do you hope for with Kendrick's next project? Deluxe or another project entirely? What sonic direction would you like to see him take next?

**I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Throwawaytriangle01** **Me [21 F] with my ex [23M] 4 years ago broke up, he feels I cheated on him with my current boyfriend** **TRIGGER WARNING:** >!sexual assault, Abusive behavior, controlling behavior, stalking, alcoholism, threats of kidnapping, murder and torture!< **MOOD SPOILER:** >!Terrifying!< [Original Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/s/DWPHofKmHV) **Nov 8, 2015** **Background**: Okay so when I was in high school I was friends with this guy named... Alex. We met through mutual group of friends. At first I thought he hated me my freshman year (when we first met we were hanging out with everyone, he said something mean to me but he meant it as a joke, I took him serious), but turned out he didn't. Became very close friends after that. While I dated a bit in high school, I was his first (and only) girlfriend during his high school career. Things were great when we were in that "dating but not together" phase because he actually hung out with me and we went on dates. Once we were ACTUALLY together, he would bail on our plans. I mean like we made plans all week to a movie we were both excited for, I bought early tickets for us because it was one of those "it's gonna sell out" ones, he cancelled last minute because his friends called him and asked if he wanted to go bowling with him. I took my best friend instead (since she loved that series too). That kept happening. Then there were little comments about my body, and explosions of anger (not physical) that were just really not healthy for me to experience from him. I was brutally attacked in many senses of the word when I was walking home from school. He knew about that, and understood originally that I was uncomfortable with sex - also being underage (thereby unable to handle a pregnancy should it happen) I was uncomfortable with it because of that too. I could hold hands with him, and kiss him. But sometimes he got too handsy and it gave me flashbacks. I would often talk to friends seeking advice because he kept wanting to have sex and I was unable to do that at all especially after my attack. They kept telling me he understands and he would be okay never having sex, because he loves me (ah high school and the "we'll get married and grow old together" phase). Didn't believe them. Felt broken like I was damaged. Never felt like he understood because he KEPT asking for it, even after I was crying and telling him I can't and please just drop it and I will let him know if/when I am ready. He eventually does, but then never hangs out with me / goes on dates with me for the rest of our relationship. It's just midnight 1am phone calls of "Just got done hanging out with people. I could come over now" (ON A SCHOOL NIGHT? My christian parents would fucking kill me....and that is not a joke. I mean that in all seriousness) The breakup: SO CHRISTMAS. Parents are starting to not like him, because they've been seeing basically how he treats me, and my sister told them about the late night phone attempts of him trying to get me to come over / let him come over. Also, a concerned friend told him about him pressuring me and that concerned my mother, fearing I'm being abused (probably was). But hey, they invite him to Christmas anyways because I was still dating him. Our parties tend to go long. It starts after church so around 8pm Christmas Eve and ends usually sometime after midnight and one am. He shows up at midnight. Most of the party has wound down, all the gifts are opened. some people left. But there was an attempt made. To put it short: he made fun of my gift to him until I was in tears, hit on my sister in front of her husband while telling him he "hopes me and him are just like them one day". Its a giant disaster. I'm crying, my sister is comforting me, my mom is fucking stunned he had the audacity to do this, my dad practically throws him out while my brother restrains my brother-in-law from attacking him. Family basically tells him its over between us and to never contact me again because like WOW WHAT THE FUCK? He doesn't listen because I didn't say it to him so he won't believe till I do. I do. He accepts it. Given we have the same group of friends, we run into each other now and then. I don't really talk to him but eh we cross paths. And from those times, and the times friends brought him up, he has dated solely women who have the same name as me. Which is a tad creepy in my mind (also my name isn't that common so it's not really much of a coincidence in my mind, but maybe it is). One of which looked like me because i met her before they dated and we joked that we were clones. Eight months after our breakup, I meet this guy, Jacob, who is pretty fucking sweet at the college I started to go to. I mean like there was blizzard and I having a panic attack, and he still drove over to talk to me and help me (although bro WTF? its a BLIZZARD that was DANGEROUS) He buys flowers at random, we go out all the time - but usually its to go for a run through the forest, a walk through a local park, swimming, or bowling. Listens to me. I explained fairly early on about my attack and how I have issues about it so he was going to pressure me for sex, he might as well leave now. He told me I could call the shots in the relationship, decide how slow or fast we go, and I can put a stop to anything when I feel its too much. True to his word too. There have been times when it is too much and I tell him that, no matter how heated it had gotten, he just nods, and gets up and makes me a cup of tea and helps me calm down. He is CONSTANTLY there for me and respects me and I don't know, I just in general feel loved by him that I did not feel from Alex for a long time. **Now**: I feel 100% safe with him. I trust him. I love him. He is probably the best thing that has ever happened to me. We've been together since. I felt comfortable enough that I eventually felt I was ready to have sex, so we did this past month. It was amazing, nothing like before. It was just... perfect and even if we were to break up in the future, I will always cherish and love him for being so sweet and helping me replace terrible memories with good ones. So then a friend tells me that Alex HATES me now. I'm puzzled because what? What have I done to make him hate me? Especially since therapy and Jacob have both taught that Alex was pretty fucking shitty and if anyone were to hate anyone, it should be the reverse. I asked them and they have no idea why just that he was telling everyone on his facebook what a bitch i was (i blocked him a long time ago so i can't see that). Another friends tells me, its because, he says I cheated on him, with my current boyfriend. I'm puzzled because how? I didn't meet Jacob till 8 months after Alex and I broke up? I find out that he knows Jacob and I had sex, and he feels betrayed because I refused to sleep with him and that I clearly cheated on him (we've been broke up for 3 years???). Now i'm confused as to how the fuck he knows I slept with Jacob, because I told VERY few (I mean like 2) people about it and that just because they're my best friends and I was so damned surprised that it could be this great - as opposed to the horrific experience I had before- that I was like "IS THIS HOW ITS SUPPOSED TO BE?" "IS THIS HOW YOU FEEL?" and they just laughed it off. I ask both of them if they told him and why. Both mention he actually approached them - and others - asking if I told them anything about me sleeping with Jacob and that he wanted truth or he'd never talk to them again. And they responded truthfully that it was none of his damn business, and while they might be friends, he has no right to issue them that kind of ultimatum. Eventually, I find out that how he knows... I have PTSD blog where I talk about my experience and whatnot. Honestly, my name is not attached to it all, no images either. Not sure how he knew it was me but he apparently has been stalking that blog reading everything I wrote and found out from there because I mentioned my two experiences with sex and how vastly different they are and like damn there is hope out there after all that I am not damaged and broken. I don't know if I'm necessarily looking for advice. I mean I don't know what to do about the ex, do I just ignore him, do I delete my PTSD blog, do I confront him or anything? Do the police need to be involved since he's stalking me on the internet? But I mostly wrote this because I think its absurd that I broke up with someone 3 years ago and they think that I cheated because I am with someone else. So I was just having a "WTF?" moment and decided perhaps you might share in this absurd moment. **tl;dr**: Ex was a high school friend. Started dating, he turned into a dick, made me cry on Christmas. Broke up 4 years ago. Met someone else. Life is bliss. Finally slept with boyfriend. Ex found out via stalking me online, thinks I'm a cheater for it. [Update 1](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/s/T5HVu5TMWY) **Nov 20, 2015** So quite a bit has happened actually. * I've had two sessions with my therapist, we talked a lot about this problem, my feelings about it, why I care, etc. Made lots of headway. Been doing a lot of positive affirmations to counter the internalizing what people say. * And then we addressed the privacy issue, and how it made me feel when he violated it, especially when we haven't spoken in 4 years. * Did as one person suggested of backing up and reformatting computer. Had to have help with it from the IT at my school. * Changed all my passwords (used my boyfriend's computer). Later got notifications from FB, another website, and my email that someone tried to enter my account so that was interesting. * Created a new blog using a new email and deleted the one he had accessed. * As far as the suggestion to carry pepper spray, I always do as well as a few other self defense tools - that my parents require I practice often with. * Told all my friends not to talk to me about Alex unless he is threatening me. They agreed to that. Life was quiet for a bit, spent a lot of time with Jacob and not giving attention to the shit Alex says or does, focused on school. Then tuesday a friend tells me that he's been writing cryptically on facebook about me. She told me it was things like "I hope throwawaytriangle's father's birthday (today) is eventful" "It'd be a shame if anyone got hurt on the 19th." "I wonder if her training is still good" (though nameless, pretty sure "her" is me. And training is referring to my self-dense training). I'm not really sure if that's a threat (in the eyes of the law) or not. She said she has screenshots of it in case I needed them or something, but hasn't sent them to me yet. I don't have classes today and since today is my dad's birthday, I drove the five hours to go home today to spend it with them. My dad gets off work at 4, but my brother comes home around 2 and he saw a box sitting outside - not a mailed packaged, just a gift box like someone dropped it off. I had already told my parents about the veiled threats so he was suspicious, and opened it. It had a small note suggesting that my dad "live it up" on his birthday was several bottles with cheap whiskey. He immediately took it inside and hid it in his room so my dad wouldn't see it and waited for me to come to tell me. He is also waiting for my mom to come home to tell her about it. **Context:** My dad is recovered alcoholic and has been for five years. He is black out violent when he's drunk to the point he attempted to murder everyone the last time he drank which resulted in my mom running away with us to another state (her cousin's house) and calling him to tell him to get help or he will see divorce papers in a week. He binged a bit more out of depression that he 'lost his family' and couldn't find us and 'why would we make up these lies' (he honestly didn't remember nearly murdering us). He never believed he was capable of such things when we'd tell when he was sober, but my brother recorded it the last time and sent it to him which he saw after two days. He immediately checked himself into rehab and has said he has never been tempted to drink since. As he puts it "I was not a good man when I drank, I hurt people I loved, and I don't want to want ever be that person again." Really great father since he got help. And we all went to Al-anon, as well as a lot of meetings with counselors and group meetings at school because they required it once it became aware of what happened. I love my father, I'm glad he got help and that we all got therapy and counseling about that. But we all are aware should he relapse, we're probably not making it out alive. All my friends know what happened. (and teachers considering I had to go to the counselors office who had told all my teachers the situation on why I had noticeable injuries, no backpack, no homework, no writing utensils, and why I'm wearing the same clothes that I wore on Friday. Some were sympathetic, some told me to tell my mom to leave anyways, and some told me too bad I should have done my homework anyways. Point is lots of people know about this). So my dad not drinking is not a secret. Him being murderous when he drinks is not a secret. I was dating Alex when it all went down so he saw a lot of the aftermath. SO ITS INCREDIBLY FUCKED UP THAT SOMEONE SENT MY DAD ALCOHOL ON HIS BIRTHDAY. And I'm willing to put down money that it's Alex. I just don't have proof it was him and I'm not sure what to do. I feel like I don't have anything concrete on Alex, because I can't prove that it was him who sent that, and one of my dad's friend who is a cop said he didn't *really* threaten me so they can't do anything (my dad asked him about it before today) and its not *really* harassment if I never told him to leave me alone. And that makes me feel like I'm just overreacting, when it definitely doesn't sit well with me. **tl;dr**: Thinly veiled threats online by Alex talking about today. Someone (Alex) left a package for my recovered dad, probably hoping he'd get drunk and murder me. Brother saw it first, grabbed it and hid it. Told me. Waiting for mom to come home to tell her. Not sure what to do about this. edit: mom came home, we told her. She's gonna call her lawyer tomorrow. Scolded my brother for opening the box. If anything else shows up, than everyone will call the police instead of opening it. Told dad, he's hurt someone would purposefully do something like, but ...also pissed. **RELEVANT COMMENTS** **PhutuqKusi** > I say this as a recovering alcoholic. What he did was messed up for sure, but there probably isn't much you can do legally. I think you should tell your dad, so that he is aware of the overall situation. I'm willing to bet that even if he'd been the one who opened the package, it would not have tempted him to drink, much less become violent. While this certainly seems like an attack on your dad, it's really a message to you. > > Reading your original post and seeing how this seems to be escalating, Alex is firmly headed in stalker territory. Given that, I would keep a log of every single detail and also contact the police, both in your hometown and your current town. While there may not be anything you can do about this incident, it can't hurt to keep a record of events, in case it continues to escalate. I'm so sorry this is happening to you. **OOP** >> Oh trust me, I know it was a message to me, and not an attack on my dad. He was just trying to use my dad as a tool to get to me. And he should have left my dad out of it. >> >> That being said, I'm as confident as you are that it wouldn't have tempted him to drink - also my dad *hated* whiskey when he did drink, said it always messed up his stomach which he always felt like might be a genetic thing since all his family would sick if they had whiskey as well - and that he has said anytime the subject is brought up that he really doesn't want to drink (he also has that One Day at a Time book they gave in rehab that he reads every day to help) so I know he wouldn't have immediately started drinking just because he saw a bottle. It just pisses me off that someone thought that he would. And to blatantly try to get him to by giving him alcohol. I have faith in my dad's willpower and progress, and it upsets me so much someone wanted to try to mess with that. And it upsets me too that there probably isn't anything I can do about it legally. >> >> My brother hid it because we don't keep alcohol in the house (we felt it made it easier on my dad) and he didn't want to throw it away in case we needed it for legal reasons, and he didn't want to upset my dad by telling him someone wanted to trigger him into drinking - because we'd imagine it would hurt my dad to know someone wanted to try to get him to harm his family. >> >> We probably will tell my dad about it, but we want to talk to my mom about it first. >> >> I will keep a log of everything. >> >> Edit: Oh and congrats on recovering. May your progress be smooth. **~** **MisterPuck** > I'm not exactly sure what there requirements are (if any) to get a restraining order against someone, but I would look into that, since as you said: > one of my dad's friend who is a cop said he didn't really threaten me so they can't do anything (my dad asked him about it before today) and its not really harassment if I never told him to leave me alone. > > Also, as fucked up as it was to send alcohol to your father, given the circumstances, one additional concern you should be aware of is that the whiskey could have been tampered with. In other words, it could have been poisoned. Even if the bottles look sealed, it's a possibility, though I admit it's an unlikely one. > > Not that I'm concerned anyone in your family will drink it mind you, but down the line it'd be best to open them up and dump it all out. Assuming, that is, that the police never take the package as evidence. **OOP** >> requirements for a restraining order where I'm at are: >> >> 1. 2 separate instances harassment, threat to harm - but can't be property-, or domestic violence. (Harassment being: creating a disturbance, or repeatedly telephoning, at place of employment or school; repeatedly following in a public place or places; repeatedly keeping victim under surveillance by remaining present outside his or her home, school, or place of employment; or threatening physical force, confinement or restraint on one or more occasions.) >> >> 2. There is objective evidence >> >> 3. "reasonable cause to believe" domestic violence will occur. >> >>Edit: BUT my mom is going to talk to her lawyer about a different order they have which has slightly less requirements (like it can be one instance instead of 2, there doesn't need to be objective evidence, and talks about cyber stuff instead of just what happens in person) but that one you need to pay for - which we're totally willing to pay. [Update 2 - wayback machine](https://web.archive.org/web/20151204145512/https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/3velvk/update_2_me_21_f_with_my_ex_23m_4_years_ago_broke/) **Dec 4, 2015** Hey guys its your friendly, neighborhood user with the crazy ex. I didn't think I'd give you an update so soon, and I'm not sure if you did either but alas one is here! So quite a bit has happened and I'm not sure how much to go into detail but here's basically what happened... Mom contacted a lawyer. We were in a process of getting something that is similar to a protection against stalker order. or something along the lines, she wasn't that clear with me about the title of the order, just what it does. She also marched down to the station and demanded they do something about it at the moment. I can't tell you what she said because I wasn't there but she got stuff done and made sure they were going to keep a file about this, in case it escalates. Also, they basically went and told him to cease what he is doing. THEN: an envelope appears in our mailbox (used the actual postal service this time). Weren't expecting anything to come in the mail so we are suspicious and called the police. Apparently it contained photographs of dead animals. Not just like "oh i can pretend they're sleeping" but like someone mutilated squirrels and racoons and took photos of it. Can't confirm if he did it himself or got it off the internet. Also, never saw the photographs, Cop!Friend just told us what it contained, never showed it to us. Well, Cop goes to the post office, asks them their surveillance cameras. He's gonna see if Alex brought it here. While he's combing through a hours of video we're kind of freaking out because the hell does these photographs mean? He's gonna kill our dog? He's gonna kill us? WHO KNOWS. Dog was kept inside for the rest of this ordeal. I'm just still in shock... He is 31 flavors of fucked up. Jake comes to visit because he heard and was like that's messed up, and wanted to be there for moral and physical support. Basically told by parents, Jake, and Police I wasn't allowed to go anywhere alone because clearly this is getting really messed up. THEN. FRIENDS. they let me know that he's posted some stuff on facebook about how it'd be a shame if something were to happen to me. And that maybe something will soon. That I'm better off dead and a bunch of other creepy things that ever unnerving but never directly were like "yeah I'm gonna kill her." They sent those screenshots to me (and previous ones) we bring them to police station who are like okay this is all actually adding to stuff we can use all this. And mom, meanwhile, is like let me kill him, it doesn't have to be known that you looked the other way. Cop Friend is like hahaa very funny. I can't tell you if mom was kidding....probably not. And he continues to comb through footage. THEN. ALEX'S CURRENT GIRLFRIEND shows up in the picture. Apparently they had a huge fight because 1. she realized he is not over me probably never will be and will probably never love her 2. He is straight up planning on kidnapping, torturing, and murdering me and him. She originally thought his statuses were just venting. But then I guess he said something that made her realize the fifty shades of crazy he is and she confronted him and he was told her if he couldn't have me, no one will. He waited four years for me to realized I messed up and he deserved me. and to find I betrayed him like that was not okay. But it'll be okay because he'll fix it by making sure we will be together for eternity. And talked about his plan to kidnap/drug me, then torture me so I'd know the pain he felt at my betrayal, and then we'd "go together" and die in each other's arms. Also decided he didn't really need this girl anymore, was gonna kill her. She escaped and went to the police. As far as the footage goes, it was confirmed that Alex did mail a envelope just like the one delivered to our mailbox recently. SO.... he is in custody now. **tl;dr:** Mom was pursuing protection order, made sure police will cooperate now. He sent photos of dead, mutilated animals in mail. Is on footage from post office probably mailing it. Not enough evidence to get him. Then he fucked up. Made creepy posts on facebook. His current girlfriend confronted him. He confessed he was gonna kidnap, torture, and kill me then himself. Decided he was probably dispose of her too. She fled, went to police. He's in custody now. **THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP** **DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7**

ChatGPT hyped up violent stalker who believed he was “God’s assassin,” DOJ says | Podcaster Brett Michael Dadig currently faces up to 70 years and a $3.5 million fine for ChatGPT-linked stalking.

ChatGPT hyped up violent stalker who believed he was “God’s assassin,” DOJ says